When I arrive home my moms car is not in the drive way. I was expecting it not to be there but its always good to be sure. Me and Kasha walk threw the front door of my two story house and go right to the kitchen. I open the fridge and pull out the milk jug, pouring Kasha and myself a small cup of milk. Leaving the milk on the counter I open the freezer.
"Want something to eat?" I ask Kasha while searching threw the freezer.
"Sure, what do y got?" she steps closer towards me to look into the freezer.
"Pogo's?" I grab the Pogo's out of the freezer.
"I'll take 5." I laugh.
"No serous I'll have 5." She states and grabs the box of Pogo's from my hand.
"I'll just have 2." I say closing the freezer.
"Are you feeling fine? Pogo's are your favourite!" A worried expression plastered on her face.
"I'm fine, just not in the mood. I'm going to go get changed." I say heading upstairs to my bedroom. I feel so uncomfortable in these stupid ass skinny jeans, I almost forgot about the pain while at Scandia, but a slight pinch once or twice kept me sure they were there. I unbutton the button of my jeans and almost have to peel them off my legs. Blood. Blood is all over the top rim of my jeans. I look down at my cuts and blood drips down my leg. I can't believed I didn't notice this before. I go to my desk to find no toilet paper or cleanex.
"Fuck." I whisper. I look around my room for something, anything really, but I can't find anything. Looking threw my dresser draws I faint a dark coloured shirt that I can use to cleanup the blood, which is now all over my leg. Carefully placing the piece of cloth on my Damaged skin, I dab. Stinging pierces threw out my body, but I can handle this much pain. The pain keeps getting worse, and I swear I've been in my bedroom 'Getting Changed' for at least fifteen minutes now. I don't want Kasha coming up into my bedroom seeing any of this, and I know she won't knock or warn me of her coming in. The blood won't stop. It just keeps dripping. What is wrong with me? Why do I do this to myself and why do I keep doing it? Because, I'm in so much pain. Pain nobody will understand. I quickly Grab a black, and fuzzy, pair of pajama pants and Blue tank top and go downstairs.
When I get downstairs I go straight to the living room to see Kasha sitting on my couch talking on the phone. She's probably talking to her boyfriend because of the silly smile on her face. I want a boyfriend that can be the sunshine to my cloudy day, that can make me smile when I talk to him, who can make me laugh even if I'm in the shittiest mode. I want a boyfriend who I love, and who loves me back. I'm a romantic, I can't help it.
I grab the remote off the coffee table and start surfing threw the channals, clicking on muchmusictop100. The music video playing is Katy Perrys Firework, and I pull out my phone. Directly I got straight into my twitter account, and click on 'Connect'. I've gotten 14 new followers, but none of them are the boys. I've got no mentions, like always, and I feel like I should just deactivate with all those big accounts out there I'm a nobody. Like an Ant to a human, we know they are there but their not important.
"Hello?" Kasha's voice startles me as she aves her hand in front of my face.
"Sorry, just deep in thought.." I look down at my hand, which is on my huge thigh. My thighs are so big, I'll never have a thigh gap.
"What's wrong?" Kasha asks in a natural tone. You can tell she doesnt care, or does she? Mostly not, nobody cares.
"I just want to sleep." I tell her and get off of my couch.
"Okay. Well, um." Kasha stands their, still in the same place not even moving and inch.
"I'll text you," I say while walking up the stairs. When I reach the top I hear the front door open, then close and immediately break out into tears. I don't know what's wrong. Since I was 13 I've had problems. Always being depressed and sad, no wonder I have 2 friends. I do talk to people, and would consider them friends if they hung out with me after school nut whenever I as them to I'm always turn down. its come to a point where I don't even want to ask because I know their answers going to be no, or their all ready busy.
My bed is so comfy that when I hit it with my body I immediately fall to a deep sleep, and Wish I don't wake up.
When I wake up its dark, almost light, but dark. I quickly turn to check the time on my phone, but theirs only one problem. My phones not there.
"Shit" I yell loader than wanting to and jump out of bed like my house was on fire. Where the fuck would I have put it? I check up and down my room, under my bed, on my desk, and in my dresser but its nowhere to be found. Next I check downstairs. I look everywhere. Nowhere to be found. Shit.
*Hey guys, sorry its like a week late, but like I said, I never know when I'm updating so don't expect it. Its kinda short.. Sorry. I hope your all enjoy I, and please share this on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube I don't know anywhere! Thank you for reading, and don't forget to vote xx*
