A Break in the Sunlight

18. Check and Mate

When Jaren finally returned to the house, Sain's hovercraft was parked outside in the drive. The study door was open, and he was at his desk, frowning over his PADD.

"Sain–"

He looked up as she hesitated at the door, a smile spreading over his handsome features.

"Najwa! You are back." Sain said. "Ahmed said he saw you walking toward the river."

She paused–what was he, keeping tabs on her?

"I went for a walk," she answered, frowning. "I didn't think I needed to check with Ahmed, first." As soon as the words were out, Jaren knew she sounded childish, maybe even paranoid. But the truth was, her walk had been far from calming–and she felt like she was about to come apart at the seams. She tried to force herself into calmness. The best thing to do was to be alone, she knew. She wanted to talk to him, but every thing she thought of to say held hidden traps, and her own frustration tore at her.

He blinked, and closed the PADD. "Not at all." he said, "I just didn't know when you'd be back."

"Well, I'm back," she said quickly. "And now I am going to have a nap."

He began to rise, but she held up a hand. "No- I just want to be alone for a while and sleep." Her voice grew more conciliatory, "The heat is bothering me."

His eyes narrowed in concern, but he nodded and sat back down. With mixed emotions, an equal sense of relief and helplessness, Jaren continued down the corridor to her room.

——–

When she woke, he was sitting on the bed beside her in the now darkened room, his hand softly touching her shoulder. She came instantly wide-awake.

"Najwa, it is nearly dinner time," he said in a low tone. "Are you coming?"

"No." Her voice seemed to come from far away.

"Are you well? Do you need some medication?"

"No. I'm fine, Sain. Go to dinner."

He rose, then turned deliberately back, his face tense. "Jaren, I want to know what is bothering you."

"Nothing."

"That isn't true. Yesterday you were fine, and today you are... It can't just be the heat."

"Go to dinner, Sain," she intoned, curling into a ball.

"Is it Balqis? She told me that you spoke today. Has she upset you?"

"No," she said into her pillow.

"She told me you talked about your future here, and something seemed to frighten you." He sat back on the bed, his eyes grave. "She also told me you mentioned leaving with her, when she goes."

That bitch, thought Jaren. She's playing any angle she can get.

"Najwa. I cannot make you be happy here. I cannot make you feel anything. And I would not, even if I could. Your path is something you must mark out for yourself. Perhaps we should discuss this now... before it progresses."

"No, don't." she sat up fluidly. "Shhh... look, don't. Please. I've got a headache. It's hot. Don't start laying crap on me. Not now, okay... not now..."

"Jaren–"

She lurched from the bed, away from him, escaping from him, and stood in front of the window, her robe loose around her, bare skin white in the moonlight and blond curls falling like a silver veil around her face. But he stepped behind her, turning her firmly to face him and taking one of her hands.