Babysitter or Boyfriend?

Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

I didn't see or speak to Alex for two days. I missed him, and I wanted to tell him I was sorry for jumping all over him about kissing Brooke. No, I didn't particularly like it, but it was Alex's business and who was I to reprimand him about moving too fast?

Sunday night, I was in my room getting together the things I'd need for class the next day. School was starting, and although a part of me was very excited (and ready), another part of me wanted to cower beneath the covers on my bed like a frightened child.

Finishing, I finally realized that I hadn't eaten for several hours. I was starving, despite my nerves. Stepping outside of my bedroom, I froze when I heard the front door open and close in the next room, followed by familiar voices. "Hey, you!" Brooke squealed. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey," Alex's voice replied. He didn't sound quite as thrilled as Brooke did, but still cheerful.

My heart ached, and I wanted to race into the kitchen to tell Alex I was sorry, and I wanted things to go back to the way they had been. Before Santa Barbara, and before Brooke. I missed the easiness I'd always felt around him; there had been more tension between us in the last few days than there had in the past eighteen years.

Still, there was something stopping me from interrupting his "moment" with Brooke in the next room. I felt if I tried to apologize to him when she was around, a whole new can of worms would be opened-she'd want to know why I was apologizing in the first place, and why I had a problem with them kissing...let's just say I was pretty sure things would get messy.

So, dejectedly, I wandered back into my room and closed the door. I could hear them in the kitchen, but couldn't quite make out specific words-I wasn't sure I wanted to, so I didn't try very hard. I half-hoped Alex would, at some point, stop by my bedroom to say hello...but he never did.

I couldn't blame him, really. He was dating my roommate, and therefore wasn't totally obligated to visit me every time he set foot inside my apartment. I didn't want to be a stupid, petty girl about it, so I focused on getting ready for school to start.

By ten thirty, I was in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I didn't know why I was so nervous-I'd heard people were nicer in college than in high school, because to be honest they just didn't care as much. Didn't care about others, that is. They were there for an education, and sure, the social aspect was certainly a part of it, but there wasn't much of the idiotic, juvenile drama.

I hoped I would make some girlfriends soon enough, because although my roommates were nice enough, I didn't feel we were making much headway in the friendship department. We were sort of just...well, roommates. Acquaintances more than actual friends.

It would be nice to have someone to talk to about the "drama," if that's what it was, between me and Alex, and my issues with him and Brooke...I had girlfriends back home, but phone conversations just weren't the same.

Suddenly my mind drifted to Conner. It was the first day I hadn't seen him since we met, and found that I sort of missed his mellow, sort of shy personality. Still, I knew I couldn't afford to have feelings for him. I needed someone that wanted me, and wasn't constantly pining away for another girl.

Sighing, I turned over on my side and closed my eyes for the first time since climbing into bed.

Finally, miraculously, sleep came.

* * * *

If I thought I was nervous the night before my first day of school, I was practically a basket case that morning. Since I'd been in Santa Barbara, things had been so up and down-I wasn't sure if I could handle a bad first day of classes.