Babysitter or Boyfriend?

Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

"That doesn't make any sense!" I cried aloud, glaring at the calculus equation I'd been working on for over five minutes. With the amount of time it was taking to complete a single problem, I could only imagine how long it would take to finish the entire, 40-question assignment.

I had given up on the one equation, and grouchily moved onto the next when suddenly, the doorbell rang. Sighing, I slammed the textbook closed, grateful for any, little distraction.

Padding across the short distance, I opened the door and felt my heart do a little flip-flop when I saw Conner standing on the porch with his hands in the pockets of his nicely-fitting jeans.

"Hey," he said with a small, very Conner-like smile.

"Hi!" I replied, maybe a smidge too enthusiastic due to my surprise. I hadn't seen Conner for two days-not since our little make out session on the front porch. Yeah, I know...awkward much?

Conner glanced over my shoulder, then back at my face. "What are you up to?"

I sighed. "Calculus homework," I grumbled. "I swear to you, I've never felt stupider in my entire life. It just makes no sense."

Conner chuckled. "It'll come. I wouldn't worry too much."

I shrugged. "I hope so," I paused briefly. "So what are you up to?"

"Um," he began, looking shyer than usual all of a sudden. "I was actually wondering if you wanted to come to the beach with me...for a bit? If you're busy with calculus, we can go another time. I just thought maybe we should talk about, you know, the other night. Plus it's a really nice night, and the sun is starting to set..."

The blush creeping into his golden brown cheeks made me want to hurl myself into his arms, but I thought that might be a little freaky. "I'd love to go to the beach," I said quickly, putting any self-consciousness he was feeling to rest. "Calculus can definitely wait. Let me just grab my shoes."

He nodded, stepping into the entryway while I hurried into my bedroom and jammed my bare feet into a pair of flip-flops. Taking a split second to check my hair and makeup, I rejoined Conner and we walked side by side to his car. He even opened my door, which I thought was sweet and a little heartbreaking.

I had to tell him about Becca eventually. I didn't like keeping secrets from him.

We made semi-awkward small talk on our way to the beach, and as soon as he parked, I slipped my shoes off and climbed out of the car. Conner caught up to me and our arms brushed slightly as we walked.

Finally, we arrived at the water's edge and Conner suggested we sit. I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest, and Conner followed suit. "So," I said with a small smile. "You wanted to, um, talk about the other night?" I figured it was better to jump right in, rather than dodge the subject for too long.

Conner nodded and cleared his throat softly. "Avery," he began, staring out at the water for only a moment before turning to me. His eyes were full of warmth, and also concern. "I really like you. There's something about you that makes me feel very...comfortable. More comfortable than I've been in months."

"I'm hearing a 'but' in there," I murmured, seeing his brow knit together with worry. "It's okay, Conner. Just tell me."

He sighed. "Avery, I just...if you and I dated, I would never want to make you feel unimportant. I would never want to hurt you. But I'm afraid that I would, because I don't know if I'm even close to ready for another relationship."

My heart ached, but I couldn't say that I was surprised by his admission. "I understand," I told him. "And I know you would never want to hurt me?"