WOO HOO NEW CHAPTER! it's really late and I have a migraine but can't sleep so I decided to write. I've actually been plotting out what's gonna happen next in here so you can expect lots of angst and shit to come for poor Jamie. And Teddy being a little shit and not having the balls to admit to James that he is in fact probably gay or bi. Anyways, enjoy the next chapter!
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Thanks for being the one human being I could count on in this world
~the perks of being a wallflower
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It was Christmas Eve, and James didn't feel the cheer really. No matter what happened, Uncles George, Ron, Charlie and Bill getting drunk off firewhiskey and singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs didn't even make him happier. All he could think about was going back to Hogwarts knowing that Teddy now knew his biggest secret. Would Teddy realise how James felt for him? Would he be disgusted?
"James, do you want some cake?"
James looked up at the voice. Molly stood there, holding out a plate, a concerned look on her face as she smiled gently at him. Out of all his cousins, Molly was the one he was closest to, after Fred.
He grabbed the plate and stood up.
"Thanks, Molls."
"Are you okay? I mean, with all this sexuality shit going on, you know?" She glanced at him and smiled again.
"Yeah. I guess I'm okay. At least the family knows and they don't hate me for it. That was a big concern. So... I guess I'm okay." James was lying.
"Okay, good." Molly stood up, patting his shoulder gently and left the kitchen. James sighed.
He stood up, moving into the living room. Teddy sat on the couch, staring blankly at his plate of cake.
"You know, its not going to disappear no matter how long you stare at it." James leaned against the doorframe, raising an eyebrow.
Teddy started a bit, but his eyes didn't look up at James. James moved towards Teddy and sat next to him. It was a bit uncomfortable, but something was obviously troubling Teddy and James didn't like it.
"What's up?"
Teddy's eyes shifted to look at James from underneath his turquoise bangs.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
James blinked before he realised what Teddy meant.
"I mean... That you're gay? Aren't we best friends? Did you not... Did you not trust me? Was it because-"
"I didn't tell you because I was terrified. I didn't even tell Fred or Scorpius, they found out, or guessed, I'm not really sure. Teddy-I trust you. I do. I just... Didn't know if anyone would understand."
Teddy closed his eyes.
"I would have."
James furrowed his eyebrows. What did that mean?
He tried to switch topics to something lighter, he had had enough depressing thoughts going around his head, and he didn't need to have any more.
"You got accepted into the Auror program, didn't you? I think I heard dad say something."
Teddy smiled for the first time tonight that James had seen.
"Yeah. I start as soon as school ends."
"I hope you don't end up tripping over something and dying while training. Dad always said you were clumsier than your mum." James nudged Teddy in the side.
Teddy laughed, stabbing at his cake.
"I'll try not to."
James smiled. His heart may hurt whenever he was around Teddy, but sitting here in the living room, awash in the Christmas tree lights next to Teddy, Teddy's thigh pressed against James', he felt content. Teddy was there, and he didn't care about James's sexuality. He was still James to Teddy. And that meant everything to James.
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Under the Stars
FanfictionFalling in love with someone who is already with someone is like hugging a cactus. The more you squeeze, the more it hurts. Especially when you're in love with someone you're supposed to think of as a family member, as a brother. But you can't choo...
