Under the Stars

Chapter nineteen

my dad is trying to force me to give away most of the books in the bookshelf at his house. Like, no. The books will not go. And he brought my brother other and my brother helped my dad sort out all the books he didn't want, which turned out to be almost all the books I wanted to read, and told me to find them at the library. I'm so pissed right now... Ugh.
Anyways, now chapter! Enjoy!
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It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart
~Mockingjay
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It was almost time for the big welcome home dinner when James walked in on Victoire and Teddy talking quietly to each other in the living room. The familiar feeling of burning anger seemed to come, although it was the most ridiculous thing to feel. He had just thought there wouldn't be any more super intimate moments between those two in places where anyone could see. He backed out of the room and went to find his dad.
"Oh, James, could you help me for a minute here?"
He looked up to see Grandma Weasley holding some silverware. Nodding at her, he helped her set the table, discretely drooling at the smell of all the food on the long table.
"Thank you, dear. Would you be a help and go tell everyone dinner is ready?"
James nodded and left to go inform everyone that dinner was ready. It took some time to find every single family member, seeing as the family had like twenty people, but once he had, he sat down in his place next to Fred and Scorpius. Even if Scorpius's family had had issues with James', he was always welcome at the Burrow.
Everyone was there, Bill and Fleur with their kids Dominique and Louis, who both went to Beauxbatons in France and Victoire, Percy and Audrey with their two toddlers Molly and Lucy, George and Angelina with their daughter Roxanne who was a third year hufflepuff and Fred, Ron and Hermione with Rose who was a fifth year ravenclaw and Hugo, who was a second year Gryffindor, James' family, Teddy, and Scorpius.
"So, how has school been going for all of you?" Grandpa Weasley asked, looking around at all the kids.
"Oh, it's been amazing! Its been snowing a lot in France lately so we haven't had Herbology in a few weeks, but it's all very fun." Dominique gushed.
Louis rolled his eyes.
"It's not that much fun."
"Well that's because you don't pay attention in classes enough to see that it is!" Dominique shot back.
"Okay! Enough of that." Victoire laughed.
"I've been working on things for graduation. It's all very exciting."
Hermione laughed.
"I remember doing that back in sixth year. What are you going to do after?"
Victoire smiled.
"Maybe a Healer."
James groaned softly. Just another thing that would make Victoire more perfect.
"Teddy, what about you? How's Head Boy duties going and all? Haven't been caught in one of the new Marauders pranks, have you?" Ron joked.
"No, not yet. Although they've managed to pull off some spectacular ones lately. Head Boy business is all boring. I can't wait to get started on Auror training."
Harry grinned.
"You'll have a while to go before that starts."
Everyone was chattering away, talking about school and about work and such until someone asked James.
"James, how's school been for you? I never got a chance to ask last night, you passed out on your bed right after getting home." Harry laughed.
"Oh, same old, same old. Boring classes, pranks to do, the lot."
"Did you seriously turn the Slytherin's hair red and gold?" George cackled.
"Yeah. It was great! Although detention for a month wasn't." Fred laughed.
Scorpius glanced at James who was staring at his plate silently, remembering that argument he had had with Teddy.
"Oh, Teddy! How are things with Victoire and you?" Grandma Weasley smiled at the two, who were now sitting there, awkwardly glancing at each other.
"Um... We're... I mean... We broke up." Teddy scratched the back of his head, his hair turning green in embarrassment.
The table went silent, everyone staring back and forth at the two. James froze. Could it be? Was this real? Or a dream?
"When?" Bill demanded.
"Last week. It was a mutual decision." Victoire cut it.
"Ah. Anymore surprises tonight?"
James wasn't sure what prompted him to do it. He must have been slipped fire whiskey or something, because never in his right mind would he had thought about don't this, but it happened so fast he didn't realise he had said it.
"I'm gay."
Everyone turned to stare at him.
James froze. No. What had he done? James stood up, his chair falling into the floor, not caring if it broke. He turned, dashing out the door, not stopping to seeing if anyone followed. He ran, cursing himself. What had he done? Now the whole family was going to be disgusted by him.
He slumped down under a tree on the hill overlooking the Burrow. He could see the lights coming from the window, but there wasn't anyone coming out to look for him, which was just fine. It didn't matter that it was snowing. He'd kindly freeze to death than go back and face them.
He looked at the sky. The stars were so bright tonight.
Stars. That reminded him of Teddy. Teddy, who wasn't dating Victoire anymore. Then what was that moment in the living room? He knew he shouldn't be thinking like this. He didn't own Teddy. And he probably never would. It just that they were being so intimate in the living room and it made him angry. But he really had no right to feel angry. Teddy didn't owe him, he shouldn't keep asking for more time together, for more of anything. He really shouldn't feel so let down when Teddy wouldn't hang out with them. He knew it wouldn't be a good thing to ever show his true feeling s for Teddy, which was hard to do but he still tried not to. He really didn't have any right to feel that way for Teddy, who was his god brother. But it didn't mean he didn't. (I'm paraphrasing the poem 'Just Friends' by Lang Leav here so that isn't all mine) It didn't mean he didn't feel so hurt, so sad and scared. So alone. Was this what falling in love was like? Because it was painful. And James really didn't want to experience it. Maybe he'd be better off here, under this tree, no more worries. It wouldn't hurt so much. To just disappear into a forest. Not have to deal with the pain that came with falling in love.
James laughed at himself. Merlin, he was going insane.
He closed his eyes. Why had he said anything? Why hadn't he kept his mouth shut? Everyone will be disgusted by him now, will hate him. Even if Scorpius and Fred wouldn't, what about his family?
Maybe he should just stay here for a while. It was better than going back to see their reactions.