Peach and the Giant James

Peach is sad

Until he was four years old Peach Henry Ewan had had a happy life. He lived peacefully with his mother and father in a beautiful house by the sea. There were always plenty of other children to play with and there was a sandy beach for him to run about on and the ocean to paddle in. It was the perfect life for a small boy. Then one day Peach's mother and father went to London to do some shopping and there a terrible thing happened. Both of them suddenly got eaten up at 4:20 mind you and on a crowded street by an enormous angry pickle which had escaped from the london zoo. Now this as you can well imagine was a rather nasty experience for two such gentle parents. But it the long run it was far nastier for Peach than it was for them. Their troubles were all over in a jiffy. They were dead and gone in thirty-five seconds flat. Poor Peach on the other hand was still very much alive and all at once he found himself alone and frightened in a vast unfriendly world. The lovely house by the seaside had to be sold immediately and the little boy carrying nothing but a small suitcase containing a pair of pyjamas and a toothbrush was sent away to live with his two aunts. Their names were Aunt Snek and Aunt Eyeliner and I am sorry to say that they were both really memetastic people. They were hella gay and lazy and grape flavoured and right from the beginning they started licking poor Peach for almost no reason at all. They never called him by his real name but always referred to him as you little bitchbaby or you lame fgt or you broken condom and they certainly never gave him any toys to play in bed with or any picture books to look at. His room was as bare as a prison cell. They lived Aunt Snek, Aunt Eyeliner and now Peach as well in a GAY ramshackle house on the top of a high hill in the south of England. The hill was so high that it was almost as lit as Dubai and in the garden Peach could look down and see for miles and miles across a marvelous landscape of woods and fields and on a very clear day if he looked in the right direction he could see a tiny gray dot far away on the horizon which was the house that he used to live in with his beloved mother and father. And just beyond that he could see the ocean itself a long thin streak of blackish blue like a line of ink beneath the rim of the sky. But Peach was never allowed to go down off the top of that hill. Neither Aunt Snek nor Aunt Eyeliner could ever be bothered to take him out herself, not even for a small walk or a picnic and he certainly wasn't permitted to go alone. The nasty little beast will only get into mischief if he goes out of the garden Aunt Snek had said. And terrible punishments were promised him, such as being locked up in the cellar with the rats for a week if he even so much as dared to climb over the fence. The garden which covered the whole of the top of the hill was large and desolate and the only tree in the entire place apart from a clump of dirty old laurel bushes at the far end was an ancient peach tree that never gave any peaches. There was no swing, no seesaw, no sand pit and no other children were ever invited to come up the hill to play with poor Peach . There wasn't so much as a dog or a cat around to keep him company. And as time went on, he became sadder and sadder and more and more lonely and he used to spend hours every day standing at the bottom of the garden gazing wistfully at the lovely but forbidden world of woods and fields and ocean that was spread out below him like a magic carpet. He had crippling depretsels.