To Our Luna

To Our Luna - Part 11

When I got to school I told my friends about my weekend. Annie, Roger and Teresa were surprised because I hadn't talked about my mom in months. Devin just smiled because he got to see us himself. I couldn't wait for school to end so I could hangout with mom again. I planned on us going to an early movie and I was gonna ask her to teach me to cook something. I needed to catch up on all the stuff we missed doing together. On my way to lunch I saw Carlos in the hall, there wasn't anyone in the entire school over six feet, so I knew it was him.

"Hey Carlos what's up?" I asked waving my friends to go ahead.

"Amina, we have to go home." Carlos said looking straight ahead.

"Can I say bye to my friends first?" I asked wondering why he wouldn't look at me.

"Sorry Amina, we don't have time." Carlos continued walking me to the parking lot. We drove in silence until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Is there something wrong? Did I do something? I swear I was gonna tell Alpha about me kissing Devin I just needed the right time. Is he mad, did you tell him?! I told mom and she was ok with it!" I was ranting because I knew how over protective Alpha could be. When we pulled up to the house there were lots of cars around.

We walked into the house and everyone was quiet. I tried to catch some eye contact to figure out what was happening but no one would look at me. Carlos still hadn't said a word when he walked me to dads office. When I was in the door it closed behind me. Walking to dads desk I noticed his back was turned.

"Princess, I have something important to tell you, come here." Dad said turning around in his seat.

"Yes daddy?" I asked confused not knowing what happened.

"Luna...mom...mommy joined the ancestors this morning." He choked out while tears ran down his face.

"No...no...no!" I shouted struggling to get off his lap. At first I didn't understand what he was saying then when it clicked I didn't believe him, I couldn't believe him. I just had the best weekend of my life with mom, she couldn't be dead. "Mommy is fine, she was fine all weekend!" I couldn't stop screaming. A hot searing pain was coming from my heart. "I have plans for us today, we're going to the movies and she's gonna teach me how to cook." I had to...I had to... "Let me go I have to find mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommm!" I shrieked as everything went black.

I woke up in my room praying it was a nightmare. It was dark outside and the moon was a quarter full. I couldn't believe she was gone, it just wasn't true. Yeah, she hadn't been feeling well for a while but she got better. She got better! I was frozen, I felt the pain but I couldn't move. I had to see her, they were all liars if I couldn't see her. I stiffly got out off bed and walked to my door. Before I could touch the knob Carlos opened it.

"Amina." Carlos whispered with pain etched on his face.

"I want to see her, I have to see mom." I whispered to him. Carlos knew me, he knew I wouldn't believe them if I couldn't see her.

"I will talk to Alpha. Are you hungry or thirsty? Do you want to talk?" Carlos asked trying to help.

"I just want to see Luna." I said trying to pull myself together. I knew if they thought I was going to get hysterical they won't let me see her. I went back to bed to sit down and wait as Carlos closed the door. After a few minutes my father came in.

"I want to see Luna." I said in a calm voice that didn't match the feelings rolling in my body. I stood turning to stare him in the eyes. "I want to see Luna." I said with all the authority I could gather.

He watched me closely trying to read my sanity. Honestly, I didn't think I had any left. He finally gave a hard nod of his head then turned around for me to followed. As we walked down the hall I wondered where they had taken her. We reached the guest room that I was born in and he stood aside.

"Do you need me Amina?" Dad asked pulling me into a hug.

I could see him trying to build the confidence to walk back into this room if I needed him. I couldn't do that to him, he needed me to be strong for him...for us.

"No, I just want to say goodbye and I'm sorry." I said hugging him tighter.

"Princess, why would you be sorry?" He asked confused.

"I should have spent more time with her. If I did, I would have noticed something was wrong." I confessed holding back my tears.

"Oh Princess, I spent every evening with mom and I didn't see anything. Elder John said there was a disorder with her blood and it's rare in lupines. Vasculitis Lupus might happen once or twice in a century. It wasn't anyone's fault. You know she would have a fit if we blamed ourselves. Go in and take all the time you need, I'll be right here." Dad said as he let me go.

I slowly walked in closing the door behind me. The entire room smelled like her. She looked like she was sleeping. It made me feel a little better that she didn't have any pain. I thought about sitting in a chair but decided that wasn't close enough. Instead I climbed into bed with her and put my head on her chest. Nothing, there was no sound, no breathing, no heart beat, nothing.

"I love you mommy. I wish you didn't have to go. What am I going to do without you? There's so many things I still need you for. Who will I talk to? How will I learn to cook? Who am I going to talk to about boys? What about prom, I can't pick a dress by myself. When I get married, how will I know if I'm being a good mate? You're suppose to help me pick out my dress." I sobbed trying to breath. "How will I help daddy get through this? We love you so much, nothings going to be the same again." I touched her face to see if she was still my mom but mommy was gone. Everything that made her who she was wasn't there anymore. I prayed for the ancestors to look after her then kissed her head saying goodnight.