*not my story originally from GAM*
Part One
February 2010
I drive like a maniac to get to Cheryl’s house as fast as possible. My fury is reflected in my reckless driving. I’m furious at him for doing this to her again. I’m furious at her for letting him, for giving him that chance when she could have been happy with me. Most of all I’m furious with myself. My heart goes to her like it’s on autopilot. I’m going to the one person who knocks me down and doesn’t even let me pick myself back up again before doing it again. And yet I keep doing it to myself.
It’s the dead of night in Thailand, and we’re flying back home tomorrow. We were having some drinks in the hotel bar and she just disappeared. I knock softly on her door.
‘Cheryl, it’s me.’
‘It’s open.’ I hear her call. I go in, locking the door behind me. She’s sat on a chair on the balcony, and I walk up behind her and start rubbing her shoulders gently. She loves that.
‘What are you thinking?’
Cheryl sighs. ‘Do you think everybody deserves a second chance?’
I can see where this is going already. I don’t want to be part of this. The decision has to be hers and hers alone.
‘It depends what they did with their first chance.’
Cheryl turns in the chair to face me. ‘Tell me what to do.’ She begs, her voice wavering. I walk around and kneel in front of her, taking her hands.
‘I can’t do this for you Cheryl.’
‘But I don’t know what to do.’
I lean forwards so our faces are inches apart. ‘You’ve always got me.’ I whisper, moving closer so our lips are touching. She doesn’t kiss me back, but she doesn’t pull away either. Both of us have our eyes open. I refuse to look away.
‘What do you mean?’ she murmurs, the feel of her lips moving against mine sending tingles through my body.
‘I think you know what I mean.’
‘Kimberley…’ Cheryl sighs, standing up abruptly. We’ve been here before, but it’s different now. ‘I can’t.’
‘Why not?’ I say desperately, following her back inside the room. ‘We’d be fine, you and me. I know it would be hard, but we’ll have each other.’
Cheryl turns to me, no longer looking small and vulnerable, but defiant and strong. ‘It’s never going to happen.’
‘Cheryl, you can’t stop--’
‘I don’t love you. I love him.’
We just stand there staring at each other for a long time after she says this, her looking desperately sad, but defiant, me just waiting for the pain in my chest to stop. It doesn’t. Heartbreak is slow. Eventually I walk to the door to leave. As a reach it and swing it open she says, ‘Kimberley?’
Against my instincts I turn around. She has tears in her eyes, her bottom lip trembling. I want more than anything to hug her but I can’t. I won’t. I just watch her waiting for her to say what she wants to.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ She says eventually. Does she mean it? I don’t know why but I smile. And it isn’t even hard. ‘I’ll always be your friend Cheryl. Don’t worry about it, yeah?’
I brush angry tears from my eyes to de-blur the view of the road ahead. My phone rings in the passenger seat. I reach for it blindly, slowing down before answering it. I know it will be her.
