you thought

0.1

"you're super cute," my boyfriend, daniel, said as i shoved another fry into my mouth. i could've chewed what i already had in my mouth, but i chose to chew more than i could swallow.

i playfully rolled my eyes at his remark and picked up a small fry. i looked at it as if it was a rare object and i was researching it before tossing it at his face. "stop it, loser."

he chuckled and smiled at me, his dimples showing. those dimples. those dumb dimples.

"i hope you know that i actually hate you," i said with a laugh.

he moved his chair towards me before placing his arm on my shoulders. "of course you do. but i hope you know that i love you," he grinned.

"you're so god-damn cheesy."

"you love it, though."

"eh. it gets annoying," i said with a smile before standing from my chair. "let's go. i need to get home to watch my little brother."

he nodded and stood up next to me. we threw away our garbage and exited the McDonald's hand-in-hand.

-

he turned the volume down on the radio after pulling into the driveway of my house. he parked the car, but left it running.

i said a quick goodbye knowing that my step-dad wouldn't be too happy if he saw daniel in the driveway while no one was home. i wasn't supposed to be have left the house at all today.

"wait," he said before i could shut the car door. i turned my head towards him and he motioned for me to get further into the car. he pecked my lips as soon as i was close enough, "goodbye, gorgeous."

while rushing to the front door, it was opened. my younger brother, murray, stood there silently before opening the door wide enough for me to enter.

"nate is on his way home," murray spoke after shutting the door.

i was supposed to "babysit" him all day today, but he's 13. i believe he's old enough to stay home alone and he agrees, so he does as he pleases throughout the day and I do the same.

"are you hungry?" i asked murray as i walked into the kitchen. i opened the fridge seeing that we only had condiments and ingredients to make a salad. "all we have is salad stuff."

"i'm good. i ate with alex earlier."

"okay, i'm going upstairs. holler if you need anything."

i took the steps two at a time and quickly made it to my bedroom. i threw my phone onto my bed then grabbed comfier shorts and changed into them. my phone began to buzz as I flopped onto my bed. daniel was facetiming me. i didn't bother to fix my hair before answering the call.

"dude, literally just saw you. what do you want from me?" i said with a laugh.

"i wanted to see your beautiful face again. i miss you already."

"oh my gosh, stop," i began to blush and looked down.

"now i can't see youuu."

"sucks for you. i'm gonna take a nap though. so bye!"

"what the hell? nooo. we haven't even been talking for that long."

"sorry, babe. i'm tired and i think my step-dad just got home," i peeked through the curtains and saw that nate's car was now in the driveway.

"ugh. okay. i love you, brooklyn" he said almost sounding proud.

"i love you, too," i said for the first time.

. . .

my head was throbbing. i feel like i made the wrong decision. i shouldn't have said it. i promised myself i wouldn't say it unless i was for sure. was i sure? was i sure about him?

"pick up, pick up, pick up," i whispered as i stared at the phone in my hands. "please answer, meghan."

"hey, it's meghan! sorry i couldn't get to the phone. leave a message."

i groaned loudly and decided to send a text to her, telling her i needed her ASAP. why was this so complicated? was i making it worse than it actually was? maybe it was the right time to say it. i mean, he's a good guy. he treats me well. very well. maybe i do love him.

so many thoughts were going through my head. maybe it was better to actually sleep. i could sleep on it and maybe i would know how i felt once i wake.

. . .

sleeping didn't help with the war going on in my head. what's right, what's wrong?

i had made the mistake of sleeping into the next day; Monday. the wind was calmer than usual today but the heat was almost unbearable. the missing component of the breeze made it seem way hotter than it actually was.

my hair looked as if it was in knots due to the fact that i hadn't brushed it that morning. my hair was extremely curly and when i brushed it out, it tended to become frizzy and bushy looking. that morning i had tried many times to comb my fingers through my dark brown curly hair, but failed and only ended up hurting myself.

my phone vibrated in my hand, but i ignored it and kept walking. my phone wasn't supposed to be out in the first place. i was at school.

school and i had a love-hate relationship. i loved seeing my friends, but most of the time school dragged on too long and the people got more and more annoying. losing friends every now and then, only a few staying throughout all of this time.

daniel and i hadn't talked much but we had gone to school together for years. the only words he had ever said to me had been about my ass and they were followed by insults.

during the ninth grade he text an apology for the way he had treated me. i hadn't told him it was okay, but i accepted his apology and we moved on from there. he had began to flirt with me but i wasn't interested. at first.

the more persistent he became and the more he showed it, it caused me to slowly fall for him. i didn't realize it until other girls became interested in him and i became jealous.

he was quick to say 'i love you' and i wasn't big on that. i told him that. i didn't want to waste those words on someone i didn't know very well. sure, we had gone to the same school together for a while, but we didn't know each other. our conversations in the past weren't even conversations. they were small head nods as we passed each other in the halls.