you thought

0.5

most girls or guys in my situation would be heartbroken, and part of me doesn't understand why i'm not. some of my thoughts are making me believe that i never really did love him, and that's why i'm not heartbroken. but i wasn't completely sure about how i felt.

face-to-face. he cheated, and lied. i ignored his text messages.

"i-i'm sorry," he spoke first.

"no, you're not," i said quietly. "why'd you do it?" i was faced with silence. he knew why he did it, but he didn't want to admit to it. i wasn't the type of girl he would normally be interested in. i didn't send 'pictures' to guys, and i didn't have any desire to. maybe i wasn't enough for him, but right now i was just concerned that he understood what he had done was wrong.

"who is this?" britt asked, interrupting the silence.

"i'm his girlfriend, brooklyn."

britt looked horrified, and suddenly her face was filled with regret. "oh my god! you're such a dick!" she slapped daniel's chest. "i can't believe you," she huffed. "i'm really sorry, brooklyn."

"it's okay, you didn't know."

my gaze switched to daniel, who stood very awkwardly. dean and the rest of his friends had joined in standing behind me. "no answer, i'm guessing?" i asked a little louder than the first time i had spoke.

he avoided eye contact when he started to speak. "i don't know," he said in a whisper.

"hm? i'm sorry, i couldn't hear you over your ego," dean said loudly.

daniel rolled his eyes. "God, you don't have to be a dick, dean."

i scoffed. "he doesn't have to be a dick? at least he knows how to keep his dick in his pants."

daniel winced, but tried to cover it up. "i'm leaving."

"have to go meet another girl?" britt asked.

he ignored the comment and walked quickly to his vehicle. oh, he was not getting away with this, but i was gonna let him head home. i wasn't doing this in front of all of these people.

"do you uh, want to head home?" troy asked quietly.

"i got it, troy," dean spoke up. "i brought her here."

"no, dean. you haven't been here long and i was gonna head home anyways."

dean went to argue again, but i interrupted, "dean, im sure that troy can handle taking me home."

dean nodded and shot a glance at britt.

troy said his goodbyes while i said mine, then we met at his truck. it was a quiet ride until we got into town. "i'm sorry, brooklyn."

"its okay," i sighed. "call me brooke."

"well, brooke, where are we headed?" he said, almost sounding like a shout.

"meghan's. she lives over by the dollar tree."

"yeah, i know where she lives."

"oh?" it came out like a question. whoops.

troy nodded and the rest of the ride was filled with an uncomfortable silence. i had so many things circling through my brain and i just wanted to rant to someone. to meghan. i wanted to hug her and yell at someone. i wasn't hurt, i was angry.

troy pulled in front of meghan's house a few minutes later and i was quick to jump out of the passenger seat of troy's truck. "i'll see you when i see you," i said quickly. "thanks."

he flashed me a smile and waited until meghan's front door opened.

"brooklyn? what are you doing here?" meghan's mom said in a whisper.

"can i speak with meghan? it's important." that was all i needed to say for her to open the door and usher me in quickly.

it felt nice to finally be able to see my best-friend face-to-face and not over a facetime. we hadn't been able to spend much time together lately and i'm not exactly sure why we hadn't. meghan was the kind to spend a lot of time in her bed and i was the exact same way now, thanks to her.

i didn't expect her to jump from her bed and hug me, and she didn't. i didn't hesitate to jump on top of her. she groaned loudly and muttered a few curse words before making an attempt to shove me off her. she succeeded, and i fell to the floor.

"meghan," i said quietly.

"what?" she replied in a whisper.

"he cheated on me."

"excuse me?" she exclaimed. she stood from her bed, throwing her phone down into the pile of pillows.

she was the type of friend that became more angry than i did when the situation i was in didn't even involve her. she claimed that she was in fact involved because she was my best-friend and it was one of her duties. i didn't understand that very much.

"i'm gonna kill him, that motherfu-"

"stop!" i exclaimed before she could finish. "don't."

she looked at me with a questioning look in her eyes. she didn't understand and to be honest, i didn't either.

"brooklyn, so many people walk over you, and you just let them. why? why do you do that?"

i stared at my hands before shrugging. "i don't know, i don't like conflict."

she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. i know she didn't like how i was taking things. she wanted me to be mad, angry. but i didn't feel angry and i didn't understand why.

"meghan, im not mad or sad or anything at all, and i don't know why i feel like this.."

she stared at me with knowing eyes, like she knew what i was feeling in that moment. maybe she did know what i was feeling. maybe she knew how to handle this. i knew in that moment that i had to trust her, because right now, it felt like she was one of the only people i could trust.