The Road Ahead (A Hunter Hayes Fanfiction, Book 4 of The Hardships Saga)

Chapter Nineteen

❝accident (pronounced ˈæksɪdənt or ak-si-duh nt), noun
an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss❞

Ryan sat down at the breakfast table, feeling tired. Hunter was digging into his breakfast. Her eyes didn't meet his, and he seemed to be in a bad mood. "Well?" he said.

She was glad the kids were all at school. She didn't want to have this conversation while they were all there in the room with them. She had gotten Lucky to drop them off, since she would be taking Spencer to a daycare centre and leaving him there until Hunter would pick him up. "Negative."

He didn't say anything, and didn't look at her. "Of course it is."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean that you having a negative test is just the usual."

"Who put your knickers in a knot, then?" she said, sounding slightly hurt.

He didn't look up, or even apologise. He just sat there, staring at his food as Ryan began thinking about how she would word what she wanted to say next. "H-Honey?"

"Yes?"

"You know... we're struggling right now. Emotionally. The both of us are struggling."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"What I'm trying to say is... maybe this isn't the time to try for a baby. It's too... early. We're not ready, and frankly, we can't handle four kids, let alone four and a newborn."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we're not ready for another child," she said softly. "This isn't the time. Maybe soon, but now..."

He looked up, looking outraged. "What the hell, Ryan?!"

"W-What do you mean-"

"Is it because you don't think you can get pregnant, is that it?! Because you're scared?!"

"Of course I'm scared, but-"

"So that's the reason, then."

"No, it bloody well isn't!" she said angrily. "It's because we're not ready to look after another child!"

"Or you're not ready to look after another child!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Why does it always have to be all about you?!"

"It's about the child, not about me!"

"You made a promise-"

"When did I ever break it?! I've told you, we'll try again when everything hasn't gone crazy like it has now! This is the worst possible time for me to get pregnant, you know how sick I get when I get pregnant! Do the words preeclampsia and anemia mean nothing to you?!"

"And you think I won't look after you if that happens?!"

"You can't even look after yourself or four children, and you couldn't look after Lilly, I highly doubt you could look after me!"

He tensed up, and she realised she had gone too far. "I... I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

"I-"

"You don't care anymore, do you?!" he snapped. "You think it's all about you. We're a family, Ryan, a goddamn couple. And-"