The Uncrucified

Entry VI - Innocence

Ahrun Vadras, my father, the eccentric merchant prince, known as the Fearless Seeker, was found dead in his own bed in the warmth of Fire Ascending, the year RY 763. It was I who found him that fateful morning. I noticed he had slept in longer than usual, for he was a prompt and studious man, and I thought I'd relieve our servants of the responsibility of bringing him his morning tea and biscuits so I could tease him about his growing bad habits.

I cannot describe the horror of finding someone so dear simply...gone. He had been there smiling and laughing with me just the night before.

By the time I found him, death had already made his lips a shade of blue, a patch of foam congealed at the corner of his mouth, a curious detail that I was too distraught to notice then. The servants heard my startled yelling as I tried to wake him to no avail. I kept trying, even when they pulled me away and fetched help.

Doctors, associates, and priests came and went in the hustle of death preparations, but my world remained unearthly still, the voices around me falling away, ignored. I could only sit in the chair by his bed and stare at his cold body trying to convince myself he was only sleeping, but knowing that was only a childish wish. A gold embroidered black veil was placed over his face out of respect. The priests would come for him soon.

It was only the head priest's soothing, compassionate tone that brought me back to the world. "You are his daughter, his only family, yes?" Funny, nobody else had asked me up to that point. I nodded weakly in reply. He took my hand in his. I remember he was surprisingly gentle. I remember the prayer talismans hanging from his belt jingling with little bells. "A daughter should make the preparations. It will bring him peace and tranquility in his next life."

But I wasn't ready to let him go in this life. Not yet. Not yet. I clenched the priest's hand, hard. He didn't seem to mind. The priest let me stay like that for as long as I wanted. Until I finally could speak again. "Yes, I will make the preparations."

An organizational task would be a welcome distraction. I took comfort that I was his daughter, the child of Ahrun Vadras, even if we were tied by different bonds than blood. I would do what love dictated and see him on the path the way that any dutiful daughter would. The priests took him then. I could only stare, still frozen from grief, as they gently and respectfully bathed him with white cloth and wrapped him in white silk, then carried his silk-swaddled body away on a stretcher.

Over the next couple of days, with a hollow in my chest, I set about the task of planning my father's funeral. Notices were drafted and sent to his close friends and business associates. I decided to buy the candles and votives needed for the service myself and ventured to the marketplace. I barely noticed the looks I was getting along the way. My mind was too set on the task of funeral preparations to care.

And then I saw it. On the marketplace community board printed in large font and stamped with the Guild's mark.

"Wanted alive for questioning and suspicion of murder. Kalara Vadras, daughter of Ahrun Vadras, the victim."

For the second time in just as few days, my heart skipped a beat in my chest. I finally noticed the stares and glares from passersby, from shopkeeps I had spoken to many times. I tore the paper from the board and very nearly thought to stomp my way to the magistrate's office and accuse them of posting gross misinformation, but common sense finally took over. Something was wrong, very wrong, and it wasn't a printing mistake.

I quickly hurried with my shawl pulled over my head to a friend's house. Melkar's face when he opened the door told me everything I needed to know. This was indeed very bad. He had the forethought to leave a bottle of wine on the table and sit me down to explain the situation.