Phone Calls > jariana (COMPLETED)

four

April 4, 7:35 p.m.

Ariana: I'm stuck.

Justin: Oh my god! In your car? In a lake? I said to dial 911.

Ariana: I'm being serious here.

Justin: Me too. How high is the water? Wait. Maybe you're not stuck in a lake. Are you trapped in a yurt?

Ariana: Ha-ha-ha. It's an essay.

Justin: Why are high school students always being forced to write essays?

Ariana: I thought you liked reading.

Justin: Can't I digest a book without being compelled to write an essay? Can't the education system in this country trust me to do that?

Ariana: I feel like you're joking. But you're using your serious voice.

Justin: Of course I'm being serious.

Ariana: You're acting like you're the one who's been saddled with the assignment. It's my essay.

Justin: What teenager uses the word "saddled"?

Ariana: I do.

Justin: My point is that writing essays isn't a natural activity. After school, you never write essays in the real world.

Ariana: When we're in college, we'll be writing a lot more essays.

Justin: College isn't the real world.

Ariana: What if you become a professor? Then it would be the real world.

Justin: You sure do like to argue.

Ariana: You're the one who picks the fights.

Justin: Stop. Stop. Stop.

Ariana: Fine. Fine. Fine. But you started it.

Justin: Ariana, what color is your hair?

Ariana: Why? Are you going to accuse me of being a redhead? Do you live your life based on stereotypes?

Justin: I have blond hair. It's sort of long so I spike it up.

Ariana: Hmm.

Justin: Girls always try to touch it. All the time.

Ariana: What kind of girls? And what do they touch it with? Pens? Their fingers? Why are you telling me this?

Justin: Cute girls. They touch it with pens, pencils—eraser end as well as graphite tip—fingers, Popsicle sticks, french fries. I get teased by cute girls. All. The. Time.

Ariana: Nobody should put french fries near another person's ears. That's a disturbing image.

Justin: It's not like they have ketchup on them.

Ariana: It doesn't matter. Aren't they hot?

Justin: The french-fry flicking only happened once. In the school cafeteria. It was a lukewarm spud.

Ariana: Moving on. I'm calling to get help with my essay, Justin.

Justin: I know. But what color is your hair?

Ariana: Maybe I don't have hair.

Justin: So you're a baldy...

Ariana: I was kidding. That was a joke.