Phone Calls > jariana (COMPLETED)

seven

April 12, 2:31 p.m.

Justin: You sure spend a lot of time away from your cell phone. How can we continue to have meaningful conversations when you don't pick up? Call me back. I've fallen into the Jairo/Nan despair pit.

April 12, 3:08 p.m.

Ariana: You need to climb out of the Jairo/Nan despair pit right away. Or, as Leslie liked to say in his small Welsh voice, straight away. You'll be okay. You're the one with the good heart and solid mind. I bet they burn through this relationship before June. If they don't, I'll eat my hat.

April 12, 4:49 p.m.

Justin: Nobody says "I'll eat my hat" except for my grandmother and characters in books. And why are you calling me up and talking about other guys? It's poor form, Ariana. Especially now that we have an upcoming date.

April 12, 5:24 p.m.

Ariana: I can't believe you answered your phone.

Justin: When I'm available, I always answer my phone.

Ariana: So your grandmother is an expert fly-fisherwoman and she says, "I'll eat my hat"?

Justin: Yep.

Ariana: She sounds interesting.

Justin: My grandmother is a bold lady.

Ariana: Bold?

Justin: She doesn't worry about what people think.

Ariana: Tell me a story.

Justin: All right, Ariana. I'll tell you a story, but then I've got to go.

Ariana: Where?

Justin: My friend Bensen and I are going to raise a little hell.

Ariana: I've never heard of Bensen, and you don't strike me as a hell-raiser.

Justin: I've been friends with Bensen since sixth grade. We both did a report on Peru. We made a topographical map together. Hey, are you yawning?

Ariana: Let's just get to your grandma story.

Justin: Once upon a time, when my grandma was a teenager, she stole a car. Now, this wasn't your average case of grand theft auto. She wanted to go somewhere. California. So at sixteen, she took my great-grandparents' Chevy truck.

Ariana: What year was this? America had Chevy trucks?

Justin: It's not polite to interrupt a story. The year was nineteen forty-something. Yes, America had Chevy trucks back then. So my grandma woke up one morning and realized that she'd never seen the ocean. So she stole the car and started driving west.

Ariana: Why didn't she head east? The Atlantic Ocean is much closer than the Pacific.

Justin: Interrupt me again and I end the story.

Ariana: Sorry.

Justin: She drove and she drove. She picked up several hitchhikers. In retrospect, it's remarkable that she wasn't robbed, cut up into pieces, and left in a ditch somewhere. But she wasn't. She drove all the way to Detroit. But when she got there, something felt wrong. As she sped toward Chicago, she felt guiltier and guiltier. She never made it past Michigan. She turned around. She cried all the way home. The end.