A Fallen Love

4. The Most Broken of All Hearts

My love,

I wish I knew, why didn't I know? You should have wrote, even though I knew these letters would never reach you, you should have written! Maybe you did, maybe you did but they got lost somewhere along the way? Yes, that is what happened, you must have written, you must have.

God! You were my world- you are my world- I wouldn't have left if I had just know!

None of that matters now though, because I know, I know what happened, and I know what will happen in the near future, don't worry. I forgive you my love, I forgive you.

I had just gotten back from the front lines, and I went to visit you after I saw Charlie, he's grown so much after the months I've spent away. I came to see how you were and to tell you how I feel.

When I arrived at your cottage, it was just turning dusk. I saw your mother outside playing with a little boy, only a few months old. I was confused as I introduced myself, leaning on my crutch as I nodded my head in respect.

It took me a moment, as your mother suprised, sad and sympathetic took me inside to sit down. I realised your parents were to old to have born another child, I realised the little boy was yours.

I felt betrayed, I felt my heart break a little more as I thought of you and Raymond, having a child, I felt sick to the stomach. I was so angry, at him, at you, but mostly at myself for letting you go. I demanded I speak to you, for you to explain, that this was some misunderstanding, but the boy had your eyes, your hauntingly beautiful brown eyes, flecks of gold and a pure look in them, a replica of your eyes.

You were not here, your father came in and recognised me, he asked me to sit and calm down, only then he would tell me what happened.

The baby -Jesse- named after me, was mine, aparently you left me because you thought I'd be disgusted with you if I ever found out. A last month my brothers carer recived a telegram saying I had gone missing in no-mans land and that my survival was... unlikely.

Everyone thought I was dead, I don't remember how long I was out in the ground between the front lines, but it was long enough for them to send a message stating my situation.

Your mother said you became extremely sad, cutting youself off from the world. You left a note. A note telling them who Jesse was, that he was mine, that you loved them and wished for them to raise him to be a good, kind man who valued loyalty and family above all else.

You left to go to our old oak tree, the one next to the river where we first met. You didn't come back for two days, the village got worried and went looking for you, they found you swinging from the towering oak, the whole village was devastated to see you like that, above their heads, an empty look in your eyes, no life or love in your beautiful face.

Thats why I'm here now, I can't live without you in this world, I would not be a good father without you as the perfect mother. My life is empty without you in it. I was a normal young adult before I met you, so empty and lost, no meaning to life.

We met here, I took a break from fishing when I saw you stroll pass, humming a soft melody collecting a bouquet of flowers. You were the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld.

Now you gone and I cannot stand it, I tried to, I really did, but it was no use, these days are dark and lonely. You were my light, but now I'm left stranded in infinate darkness. I will follow you into the dark so you won't ever be alone again.

I'll see you soon my love, my Elaine.

We will be together again, Forever and Always.

Jesse Beesham Sr.