[dedicated to] a_colorful_dreamer when she updates, I get warm and fuzzy inside :)
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“Sometimes I wish…
“Sometimes I wish things were different, you know?
“I dont know-
“I…
“I never really liked you, I don’t think. At least, not in the way she does.
“T-that’s what I hate, really. Because we were neighbors, and I was that girl-next-door and you were that boy-next-door and we were supposed to fall in love. Like in the movies.
“When you first met her, I was jealous. Obviously. I mean, we were supposed to be high school sweethearts and now we’re out of college and obviously--
“Obviously I was jealous.
“I mean, why wouldn’t I be?
“She wasn’t very pretty, I don’t think. Rather plain, actually. And she had this hair--this hair! It was like a rat’s nest, really. I mean, my hair was never a rat’s nest. Never.
“I didn’t understand why you liked her, even. Because she was your secretary and you were never supposed to like her. B-because I was that girl and you were that guy. Neighbors, best friends, you know.
“But then I realized…
“Then I realized that you brought her tissues when she cried and made her soup when she was sick and kissed her gross snotty nose while you were at it.
“And I realized, you know, I was…
“Too late. Right? I’m too late, I think.
“You actually cared for this girl. Whatever her name is.
“Didn’t you?
“What I’m trying to say is…
"I…
“I think I’m okay now.
“I think so.
“You love her, don’t you?
“I’ll back off, I swear. I don’t think…
“I don’t think I ever loved you. Not really, at least.
“Maybe I was in love with the idea…
“The idea, you know? I think I fell for the idea of you. The whole boy-next-door thing. I'd wanted that cliche forever.
"But it's not going to work, is it?
"So while I'm at it, confessing to you before your fucking wedding, you should know that I'm letting go.
"Of you.
"It might sound ridiculous, but I need to do this. After 26 years of knowing you, I need some closure.
"You will always be in my heart, but you don’t love me, and I don’t love you, I think, and I just wanted to say…
"Don't trip on your vows, idiot."
