You're Beautiful~

chapter 5

                       Youngjae. P.o.v
After we saw Nabi leave.  Me and the guys went in our van and drove off to our dorm. "Yah! Youngjae isn't that the girl's journal? " I looked down and saw that I still had her journal. "Omo! I forgot to give it back to her!" I told them. "well it's too late now, we are already here." Mark hyung told me. "But this must be really important to her hyung" I told Mark.  "Mark is right Youngjae,  come let's go inside and rest" Jaebum said as he got off the van. We went inside our messy dorm. Jaebum went to kitchen,  Yugyeom and Mark went to go buy food, and BamBam,  Jackson and Jinyoung  went to the living room to play video games. I decided to go to mine and Jaebum's room. I sat down on our bed and coco sat next to me. I just stare at Nabi's journal.  It does look like it is really important to her. Should I read through it ? No that's invading her privacy. Plus she might have wrote all in English or Spanish. But it may give me information we're she is staying. I opened the journal to the first page. Thank God it's in Korean!
                                             Aug 15, 2012
Annyong,  um I am writing in this journal because Jenny said it might help me. She bought me this journal to write down all my feelings or whatever, because she said I look like shit. Haha she is right...  um so yeah... I do feel like shit right now...  I have for the past three years... well ever since eomma and appa got a divorce.  I mean I don't blame them. Appa was always busy and not paying attention to me and eomma. I do sometimes think that it is my fault...  but Jenny says it's not... I also haven't been feeling to well in the years... eomma's boyfriend has been hurting me in so many ways that Jenny doesn't even know.... he has beating me... he burns me with a hot pan  ...  he even.... raped me!!! I am sorry that I am crying...  it's  just that it hurts to remember... I have never told anyone about this... and I think I never will... I don't want to tell eomma about this because James makes her happy... I can't tell my poor sick mother that.... I don't want her to get worse by worrying about that...  I have to go now Journal.... I will write more tomorrow...  I am writing this in Korean,  because I don't want eomma or anybody to read this journal... I mean I don't know anyone else who can read Korean besides my Appa. So good night journal.. till tomorrow
                                 ~Nabi Gomez 이 나비
I closed the journal. I wiped off my tears. Nabi has been through a lot. Is this why she move to Korea?  To finally be away from James? "Youngjae! Foods here!" I heard Jackson call me. I out the journal under my pillow and went to the living room. I sat on the floor next to BamBam. I grabbed a piece of pizza. "So that is what happen" Jackson said laughing.  "Are you alright hyung?" BamBam asked me. "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm just tired" I lied. I was actually thinking about Nabi wondering if she is okay. "You're lying" Jinyoung said putting down his pizza. "No I'm not" I lied. "Nope. I know when you lie. Your lip twitches when you lie. Something is bothering you. Is it because of Nabi's journal?" He said. Everyone looked at me. "Okay yes, it looks like it's really important to her. I mean  it's her journal where she wrote all her feelings down" I told them. "You read her journal didn't you? " Yugyeom asked. I felt my cheeks turn read. "...." I stayed quiet. "Omo! You did! " Jackson yelled and started laughing. "Yah! Yes I did... I thought I would find information at where she might be staying,  so I can return it to her." I explain looking at the ground shyly. "Well did you?" Mark hyung asked. "I only read the first page.... and I wish I didn't...  she wrote something really personal" I told them. Jaebum hyung got up and went to our room. He came back with the journal and sat next to Jinyoung. "Okay, I know this is going to bother you till we give it back to her, so we are going to read all of it till it tell us where she is staying. " Jaebum said.
                                     December 25, 2014
Sorry journal I haven't wrote anything in two years.... it's just I didn't feel like writing anything... I am just writing to distract myself. In the past two years has been hell. James has been hurting me so badly... eomma became more worst... James still rapes me... I found out I was pregnant, but I lost the baby when I was 2 months and this was last year. I am still kinda hurt by it. Nobody knows that I was once pregnant. Oh yeah my step brother Jungkook send me tickets to go see BTS. I mean they are okay. My bias is Namjoon ❤. Anyways, I like this new boy group call GOT7.  they are so cute, especially Youngjae~❤❤❤❤. He is my bias. I just think that he is so cute and he has an angelic voice.  I just love his singing. Ahhh!!  I want to marry him!!  He is so cute!!!  I want just want to cuddle with him!! Okay enough. I got off topic. Oh yeah I been gaining a lot of weight too. I keep eating and eating. Food is my only comfort now. I mean I am trying hard not to cut myself anymore and food is the only way. When I want to cut myself I eat instead. Oh yeah Jenny finally came out. She told me she is a lesbian and I told her I already knew and that I accept her the way she is. What else has happened?....  oh yeah Jungkook keeps sending me merchandise of BTS. He keeps telling who is my bias but I won't tell.  Yeah me and my step brother are close, kinda. We text and call each other everyday. He is hoping that we meet each other one day. I want to meet him too. I want to know how he looks like. We don't trade pictures,  I don't even know how my step mom or my half siblings look like. I am hoping to go to Korea one day to meet them. I haven't talk to my appa since he got married.  SooWan,  my step mom, tells me that he is busy with work. I told her I know. Since he is CEO of  Lee gaming industry.  Which is a block from the Jyp Entertainment . He always has to put work first. Oh shit it's already 3am and I have school at 7am. I have to go sleep. I will write later soon. Good night journal, till tomorrow
                              ~Nabi Gomez 이 나비
Jaebum closed the journal and looked at us. We all stayed quiet.  I really feel bad for Nabi. "Okay now we know where we might find her. Her father is the Lee MinKi. we can give the journal to him, so he can give it back to her" Jaebum said. The guys nodes. But I want to give the journal to her. "Well,it's settle.  Tomorrow we will give the journal to him." Jaebum said getting up. " well we should all go to bed now"he said going to our room.  "Youngjae are you alright?" I looked at Mark. " I just feel sorry for Nabi-ya,  she has been through a lot... I mean she was raped by her mother's boyfriend and she lost a baby... " I told him. He put a hand on my shoulder. " I know Youngjae, I feel the same way.  But that's all in her past. I think this is why she moved to Korea to start a new life" he told me. "Yeah, well good night hyung " I told Mark.  "Night Youngjae" he said and went to his and Jackson's room. I went to my room and fell asleep.
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Pandashygirl