Crossroads (A Collection of Short Stories)

What is hope?

"Come on, Zoe! Michelle will be there in awhile."

"Okay. Okay. I'm just gonna put on my shoes."

I went down the wooden stairs and put on my sandals. Danny was pacing back and forth, obviously nervous about his date with Michelle.

If it's a date why the heck do I even need to come?

Oh, that's right, because I'm his best girl friend.

Damn, admitting it even hurts.

"Ready?" Dan asked me opening the door and heading for his car.

No, I'm not ready. I never will be.

Instead of making a fool of myself and confessing my love, I just nodded and sat in the passenger seat. He started the engine then proceeded to drive to the cinema where his 'precious' Michelle was waiting.

Just thinking of her name makes me sick.

Makes me so jealous.

Makes me so fucking envious.

"Damn it!" Danny exclaimed.

I looked at the road and saw that there was traffic. I glanced at my watch. We're gonna be late.

Is it wrong to be happy at a time like this?

I'm hoping that we'll be late.

Hope.

It's a word with a simple meaning.

Hope is...

What is hope?

Hope is a good thing. It's the thing that lights you up when you feel so deep and lost in the dark. Hope is the feeling you get when you see him, smiling and looking at you. Hope is the feeling you get when you feel that anything is possible. That you being together with him is possible and that the things you fantasize about will eventually become a reality.

Hope is never giving up. Never giving up even though you're starting to feel that anything you do won't work because you feel hope. Hope that he will someday see you as more than a friend, more than someone who's just there to joke around with him.

Hope.

I like that word.

"There is she!" Danny exclaimed excitedly dragging me out of my thoughts.

We got out of Dan's car and started heading towards Michelle.

I won't lie and say she looks hideous. Okay, she's pretty but I really think I'm prettier. Hmmm. I'm so mean.

"Hey, Michelle! This is my friend, Zoe." Dan said introducing me to his 'date'.

"Hi! Nice to meet you!" I said giving her a fake smile but not making it obvious.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

"Nice to finally meet you, Zoe! Danny told me so much about you!" She said smiling back at me and shaking my hand.

"He did?" I asked curious about what he might have mentioned about me.

I looked at Danny but he just shrugged and gave me a lazy smile. Just his smile already gives me butterflies in my stomach.

"You girls ready to go?" Danny asked us offering his arm to Michelle.

"Yup." I said to him watching the two laugh at something Danny said.

I hope the movie gets cancelled.

Hope.

What is hope?

Hope is a bitch. Hope is brutal. It cuts and shreds your heart into pieces. People think hope is a good thing but it's not. They're lying.

Hope. Hope is for idiots who still believe in miracles. Hope is wrapped in a shiny red box with pretty silver ribbons. You get excited at opening that box, get so anxious to know what's inside it that when you do finally open it your excitement disappears along with your smile because the shiny red box with pretty fucking red ribbons had been empty all along.

It was filled with air and nothing more.

And then you start to cry because of the disappointment you feel but the truth is your tears will do nothing. It won't make a thing appear inside the red box. It won't make you happy. It will just make you cry and cry until no more tears can come out of your eyes.

Hope.

Hope is loving him.

Even if it really fucking hurts.

"Zoe? Are you coming?" Danny asked opening the door to the cinema.

Michelle had her arm around Dan's. They both had smiles on their faces. They looked good together but Danny and I would look better.

"Yup. I'll just buy some popcorn." I said with a smile turning around and heading for the snack bar.

"We'll go inside then." I heard Danny say behind me.

But I don't respond because I had hoped that he would wait for me.

Hope.

It's a complicated word.

Hope is...

What is hope, you ask?

Hope is wanting to have him even though it's impossible.