The Force Awakens: One shots

In the Depths of Darkness

I am going to dedicate this chapter to BabyKangaroo_fanfica because she is an excellent writer, but also likes to pull at her reader's heart strings and make them want to cry because of the feels. I am now kindly returning the gesture. Enjoy.

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It was dark. It was cold. It was my life.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't pull myself out of the darkness. I wanted to go back into the light, where it was warm and safe. I couldn't do it though; I was stuck.

My soul was once filled with happiness, surrounded by those I loved. Now, my soul is full of darkness. Covered in coal dust and the blood of my enemies.

I couldn't feel anything anymore; even if I tried I knew I wouldn't be able to.

I always feel alone. There's nobody who cares about me anymore. No one who loves me. I'm lonely. This type of lonely isn't always just being by yourself. You could be completely surrounded by people, and still be lonely. It's the feeling that no one cares.

My world has been always been dark, since I joined the Dark Side. That was until she entered my life.

She came into my life with a flare of light. She was a breath of fresh air in a room full of death and decay.

Peerimh into her mind in that interrogation room changed something inside me. Even though there was suffering and sadness, there was also happiness and warmth. The warmth filled my entire being, and I never wanted to leave. Looking into her eyes made me feel alive again.

Of course that warmth could never last in a sea of darkness. She entered my mind as well and saw the monster that I truly am. As she fell into unconsciousness the warmth left my body. I was alone again.

Now here I stand in my cold quarters, staring out into the unforgiving void. Was it all worth it?

I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?

Of course not. Who would help a monster in a mask? No one. Never.

How I loved her though. I couldn't shake the pull to the light. Yet I couldn't move toward it. I was stuck in this darkness.

I pulled my Jedi weapon and put it to my throat. Closing my eyes I pictured her; glowing in the warm sunset, beckoning me. Then I ejected the weapon, and felt it pierce my throat.

At last, I was ascending out of the depths of darkness.