Book Page 143 (Suga X Jiae)

Chapter 20

Jiae POV

I blew some air to my cold palm hands and rubbed it together. I really don't have the feel to go to school, but what can I do actually?

I tried calling mom last night but she didn't pick up. I called and called until my batteries died. I threw away my phone somewhere and I didn't have the mind to find it this morning.

I walked through the empty school gates and walked across the compound to go to the school building. Yeah, I again went to school early, it's just I don't want to meet anybody right now.

I went upstairs following where my feet was taking me, thinking nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I'm tired of thinking, i'm even tired of breathing.

I eventually ended standing at the open school's rooftop. It was even cold. And deserted. I took 15 steps walking to the front.

One.

I always thought I would have a happy and normal life.

Two.

But then she had to die.

Three.

Why is her heart so kind? Why does she have to help the people that she doesn't even recognize?

Four

I finally can live properly about a year after she left.

Five.

At that time, it was lonely at home, I have no one who I can talk my problems with, laugh at my not silly jokes, be crazy with me, cry with me, and smile with me.

Six.

Then the library caught my attention, I went there and randomly picked a novel to read.

Seven,

It become a habit in the end, after school I would go to the library. I befriends with Grandpa and then Mijoo.

Eight,

My life went normal like that until I found that rap lyrics

Nine.

I've never talked to that guy before but I tried to become friends with him. He has a really cool personality, making me want to get closer to her.

Ten.

Then when mom said that they were away to visit my sick aunty, I had to stay with him. It was fun to live with someone that has the same age as mine and Grandpa. It was a feeling that i've already lost.

Eleven.

But, he had to confess his feelings to me.

Twelve.

And I had to come back to get my sister's only treasure and because my parents weren't home again.

Thirteen.

And I had to get period at that night when I didn't brought any tampoons with me.

Forteen.

Accompanied by him, I went to the house that I had left for a while. And I had to accept the reality in front of me.

Fifteen

And they left me without any explanation.

I stop my tracks on the edge of the rooftop. Good thing I'm not scared of heights. I sighed as the cold breeze caressed my face.

I felt my sister was looking pityly at me, satpying that this was the wrong decision. I should keep thinking and living.

But I'm tired. Tired of wishing how my life would end up like the happy endings in the novels that I've read. Tired of thinking that everything's gonna be better and i'm tired of living at a world where even my own parents don't want me.

I'm tired. please understand, sister.

I looked at the sky and pictured my sister watching over me.

You should be happy that you can finally have company up there, sister.

Just one more step. I breathed in.

Thanks Mijoo, Grandpa and all the people who kept me going with this life. Also to Yoongi.

One more step. I closed my eyes as I step onto nothing and let my body fall.

But.

Someone caught my arm.

"ARE YOU CRAZY!" He shouted as he struggled to pulled me up.

"LET ME GO!" I tried to wriggle free my arm as I kicked my feet effortlessly mid air.

"YOU'RE CRAZY" For a thin boy he sure was strong. He was struggling and panting so hard to pull me up the ledge. His face was red and beads of sweats were already formed on his forhead.

I felt guilty and let my body being pulled by him.

"You're crazy" he said again as he finally pulled me to safety and I fall hovering over him. I didn't realized my heart was thumping so hard and I was panting, short and fast breaths.

Our bodies were close. Very close. He was warm and I absorbed the heat to my body. It looks like both of us didn't mind the situation we were in right now.

"You're crazy" again he said as his eyes were on me, he was like studying me.

"I know" I muttered and didn't smile and I tried to get up, my legs feel jelly and wobbly for no reason. I stumbled a little and took a seat on the floor.

He got up watching every little movement of mine.

"You okay?" He asked out of concern. I fixed my hair and tied it, again with the white hand band. Why haven't I returned it?

"What do you think?" I was not in the mood.

"That looks familiar" his eyes falls upon the white band as I finish tied my hair properly.

I scoffed and ignored him as I got up and went straight to the stair case door.

But he beat me to it.

"And where do you think you're going?" He blocked the door.

I was angry and mad. Why does he have to come and be like this way? I rolled my eyes annoyingly at him.

"Can you not?"

He looks amused. "At least, I deserve a thank you for saving your life just a minute ago"

"And sorry, I am not even grateful for it." I backed away seeing that we were too close.

"So I should've let you die, just like that?" he questioned.

"It had to happen like that" now i'm frustrated.

And there was silence. I took a glance at him and he was looking at me. A pity look.

"Don't look at me like that" I stammered.

But instead of a response he took my hand, opened the door and pulled me downstairs.

"Let go of me" I struggle to release his hard grip on my arm.

"Not that easy, girl" he kept pulling me until we were outside the school building to the basketball court.

And he finally let go.

I eyed him judgingly. "What are you trying to do?"

He showed me his wide smile, and ran to get his skateboard, placed against the podium.

"I was actually expecting you to come early again and have fun like yesterday" he showed his skateboard.

"Too bad, not in the mood" I rolled my eyes and tried to make a move but again he blocked my way quickly.

"Too bad, I don't care. I only care to have fun." Mark smirked.