Addicted To You

Second Thoughts

I leave Leloni's house with tears streaming down my face. As I'm walking to my house I can't help but think is it all worth it. Do I really love him am I doing this all because I want to get back at my mom. No, I would never do that. As I'm walking I'm looking down at the pavement and I see rain drops hit the ground. I quickened my pace as the clouds began to gather in the sky. Up to now, the sky had been postcard-perfect, but it was changing. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade was beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud were forming, blotting out the old-gold color of the sun.

I got the first splatter of rain when I was walking. I took shelter under an old oak, hoping that I could see out the shower. Droplets of moisture began to drip from the leaves. They were sprinkling onto the grass like a gardener's hose. Then the rainfall became more intense. A wall of rain moved over the oak and the drops were drumming against the canopy. So much rain was falling that the sound blurred into one long, whirring noise. It reminded me of the rotor blades on a helicopter.

Great, I thought I live five miles and I need to get home. I pull out my phone and its dead. I start walking in the rain putting my hood and start walking. Within a moment I am drenched from head to toe. I pull my jacket closer to myself knowing it won't help at all. The water feels like the rain is getting harder and harder with each passing second. The water sloshes in my shoes with every step. My entire body is cold and numb and I'm pretty sure my lips are blue.

I walk into my neighborhood and breathe out a sigh of relief. I finally get to the front and unlock it. I enter and I don't see Michael and right now I don't really want to. I closed the door. My entire body is numb and I'm shaking. I hear the door close down the hall I can tell that it was Michael.

"Gen is that you?" I hear Michael call from the hallway still slightly pissed

I don't answer

"Gen!" He says louder a little more pissed

Again I don't answer because I'm afraid I will say something I will regret. He comes in the kitchen and I see him look angry for a moment then a concerned look spreads across his face.

"Gen, what happened why are you wet?" He says reaching out to touch me but I back away

"What's wrong baby?"

My eyes go wide. Was he serious did he just ask this why I'm upset?

"Really?" I asked crossing my arms "Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"What was it about earlier today?" He asks

"You freaked the fuck out threatened my friends smashed a bottle and left me there. Do you not get it all because you don't like fucking alcohol!!" I scream at him "I didn't even touch the alcohol and then you call me stupid!! Why why don't you like alcohol" I yell

"You wouldn't get it," he says irritated

That's when my body control and my mind has none. My hand reaches up and slaps Michael across the right side of his face. I walk away not even feeling sorry and head to the bedroom. I take off my jacket and Michael comes storming with fury in his eyes.

"What the fuck was that for?!?!" He screams at me

"Take a guess," I say scoffing

"Just because I freaked out is that why?!" He steps closer

"Not just that" I take a deep breath "Michael my friends are different from your friends they during smoke and do drugs I've only drunk once and it was in a safe environment" I say calmly stepping to him "Just cause you don't like it doesn't mean people won't do it and you have no right to call me names or threaten my friends or so help me God I will call off this wedding so fast it will make your head spin" I walk towards him to the bathroom

But I'm stopped when Michael grabs my arm and pins me against a wall.

"Do you really think that's going to happen? Without me, you would still be with your mom. You would probably be drinking every night if I didn't stop you" he laughs darkly

I slap him again "I'm not some drunk don't ever talk about me like that again"

I try to walk away but he slams me against the wall harder where I gasp for air because of the forcefulness of it. He looks at me with a dark look.

"I can talk to you anyway in want I mean you are living in my house"

I push him off of me and go towards the closet and grab my suitcase.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked walking closer to me

"I'm done" I take a deep breath "If you are going to be like this now I don't even wanna picture what you are like after I say I do" I start putting clothes in the suitcase.

"Wait so you're calling off the wedding for how long?" He asks stepping closer

"Forever" packing more clothes

"Where do you plan to live then hmm," he says darkly

"Anywhere but here Leloni, Nikko's, Josh's" I close my suitcase

I grab my suitcase and I call Leloni "Hey Leloni can u come and pick me up now"

"Yeah why what's wro..." Michael grabs my phone from me and hangs it up

"Hey give it back!!" I yell at him

"No Gen please don't call off this wedding I was angry and scared about you with Leloni" he begs his voice cracking at the end

"No Michael maybe we just need some space or maybe this was all a mistake" I feel tears in my eyes

"No it wasn't" he begs stepping closer I back away afraid of what he might do

"Just give me my phone and it will be easier on both of us" No it's my turn for my voice cracks

"No!" He yells and I flinch "You can't leave before I met you I feel like a part of my heart was missing and now that I found you the missing puzzle piece finally fits."

"If I was the missing piece then how can you explain you talking to me like that" I'm crying

"Because I'm scared I'll lose you" he walks closer to me and wraps his arm around me "Please don't cry"

I push him away and grab my phone and take my suitcase and walk out of the room. I open up the door and Leloni is there.

"Gen, what's wrong? What happened? Did he hurt you? If he did so hel...."

"Nothing we just need some time away from each other" I see that it's still raining and I hear footsteps coming down the hall

"Gen please don't go! I am begging you please stay I promise I won't ever do that again please stay" he's crying at this point "You're all that I have in this world that makes me happy please stay" he begs tears streaming down his face

"And how long will it last?" I grab a jacket off the coat rack grab my suitcase and walk out the door to Leloni's car.