The Support Group

Chapter 1 - Mara, Court

We are all just out casts, kids who have had to deal with a lot of unnecessary shit in our lives, and had to live with a lot of bullshit burdened on our shoulders. Each of us were different, a different backstory which has all shaped us in the same fucked up way as each other. These stories, all this bullshit we shared together, all made us close in a way we could never be with anyone else and no one could even try and understand us and what we have done. We all just became friends, and formed this group as a support group as a way of dealing with it all. Believe it or not it worked so well, we all have become so close now and we all helped each other in ways none of you social workers, parents, any sort of authorities could ever bloody help us.

"Tells us more at this more about this group, Each of the members in the so called 'support group' tells us that you were the one that formed it."

Yes, I do take credit in forming this group. Each of these four kids were all hand selected carefully by me. I needed to make sure each of them were perfect. I didn't want complete strangers otherwise we wouldn't have connected as well as we had. Each of us had a connection to at least one other in some form of way which they may not have been noticed by themselves yet, but if I have sewed together the connection, they will. Each of us all have a shitty ass life that we were burdened with and each of us were struggling, were fighting for some form of survival and we were each other doctors, helping each other to survive. This group began on social media. After about a month of researching them and finding out as much as I could about them I made a Facebook page, and we all just talked on there. At first they were really hesitant as to even accepting this group but I knew they all would. I had to opened up first. I told them about my brother and my parents and my bitch of Aunty. Thats a really scary thing to do to a bunch of teenagers who are strangers but they all reached out, and one by one they opened up. Some were way slower then others. Delaney for starters only read them all, she'd sit there reading them and she was always the first one to see each message. She never gave out any advice or anything until one day she realised the connection she had with Flynn, and before you knew it she was little miss chatter box, telling us all about her, telling us her connection to Flynn. Flynn was in absolute shock of what happened and full on beat up some of his mates in response to it, it was so bloody awesome. It was in that moment that we all became so tight with each other and we all knew then we had each other backs.

"You are a student, how were you able to research each of these kids? Some of their profiles were tightly classified, only to be open to people in authority."

You say that, and you almost believe what you are saying. In reality it isn't as tightly classified as you believe them to be. You just need to get the school counsellor out of the room for 5 minutes and I have got a copy of each of their files. Thats the beauty of mobile phones. Some of them were harder to find anything about, others were easy. I already knew all I needed to know about Oscar because my brother used to just blab on about him all the time, and I knew he needed to be apart of this group. Ava was another one which was super easy, she does not have a low profile at all. Just have to talk to a few gossipers in the school, they tell you enough to begin researching. Plus you just have to type her name into google and it is just flooded with articles about court cases, and interviews and all this bullshit. You could even watch the video of the court cases which I assume this one will be up on google in only matter of time. But then Delaney and Flynn were really hard. That involved a lot of stalking, following them to see where they go. I even tried to make a fake tinder account and talk to Flynn but he'd shut off whenever you'd try to even talk about any issue he may be facing. The fact of not knowing too much about them made me want them in this group more then anything really. I knew if they were hidden that they had an interesting story and that they needed to be apart of this group.

"Mara, what trigged you to start this group? You say its a support group, but you've yet to tell us why this group was something that interested you"

There's never one thing that triggers one to do anything. In Psychology we learnt about the 'Two Hit Hypothesis', which is used for Schizophrenia, but it relates to everyone really and the actions we all make. The first hit is biological, which could be seen as your life already. You already have something in your life which makes you feel some way or think a certain way. Then the second hit, an event, something which triggers you into making you take action. My younger brothers suicide was my second hit. I was already depressed as it was, and then when my brother took his life it set me off. I lost it for awhile where I would just cry and crack it at life. When I was going through that stage I saw Oscar one day at school. He was at his and my brothers hang out spot and he was talking to the air as it were my brother and at that moment I realised there were people out there that needed help like me. Thats when I started the group, I begun my research.

Not many people will understand this. I look out to all of you sitting there, judging me on how long i'll be sentence to, working out why we did what we did, why I was so keen on all this. As much as you try to understand or even work it out, you never will. The pain I went through, the pain each of us went through was unbearable, something none of you will understand. Unless you are like us. We have a fucked up life which no one seems to understand because we are different, because we are only kids and kids shouldn't have a say in this. To you parents, you are so blind sided by what we go through and are in so much denial about it that right now you shake your heads at me saying you understand but you don't. If you somewhat had any idea.. I wouldn't be sitting here. I'd be at home, talking online to friends. Different friends. Not these friends, because if you did understand I would have never made friends with these people. As you would have understood them, then they would be living a free and happy life. The awful truth is that you don't understand, and you try, but you cant and you never will. Thats the honest truth. So whatever lock me away for what I've done, what we've done. Just know this is your fault.