The Support Group

Chapter 8 - Flynn, Story

My story is nothing like Mara's. Its not something that involves much depression or anything sad. Although you have clearly wanted me to be in this group for a reason, I may as well share my story with you guys then.

I want you guys to know that I'm not that perfect guy the whole world seems to think I am. Im not going to lie though, I have got a perfect scholarship lined up for me setting me up perfectly for a career in playing football, I have a a bunch for pretty girls after me wanting me be their boyfriends. The truth is though none of it is ever going to happen. My dad left our family 3 years ago. We have never heard of him since and we were left with no warning of it. I mean I wasn't surprised, he was an awful man constantly beating me up, telling me I'll never be a good enough son for him. When I woke up that morning and all his bags were gone and every belonging he had vanished, I smiled. I finally felt safe in my home for once. I left for school that day the happiest I had been in a while but as I got home my mum was a mess. She lost it, she was gone. She was suppose to be looking after my older sister who has down-syndrome but instead my sister was locked in her bedroom absolutely screaming in a puddle of her blood. I quickly ran to Faith and and was making sure she was alright. I was glad for once in my whole life to see period blood. Whilst I gave Faith a bath I was talking to her about what happened with mum today. She said as soon as she woke up she started screaming and crying. Faith told me that she tried calming mum down but she locked her in her room for the day and Faith lost it, thinking she'd done something wrong, thinking that she was in the wrong. After she and her room was all washed and cleaned, and she was dressed I sat her on the couch and I found my mum in her bed under the sheets balling her eyes out. I sat on the bed cuddling her. She thought I was my dad at that moment. She was weeping his name. "Frank", she'd cry out, "I love you Frank, please don't leave me Frank". It was at that moment that I knew I was left to be the man of the house. I had to tell her that he was never coming back. That he isn't worth this family, he isn't strong like the rest of us. She to this day barely leaves that bed. She stays curled up in a ball in her tears. She used to be such a strong woman, I used to admire her strength in the way she'd fight back with my dad and that she'd stand up against who ever when she knew she was right. It sucks at times because I cant help but think thats she'll be fine, that one day she'll get out of that bed and be that strong woman I remember her to be.

Until then though I have to be the man of the house like I promised her i'll be. I work two after school jobs to supply food and pay for the bills for the house and all of Faiths medications, also my mums anti-depressants. I have to miss certain days of school to look after Faith as the nurse can't do those days and the teachers are constantly sending me all this extra catch up homework to do but I have to constantly ask for extension in each subject on everything because there is just never time for me to do any work. I'm failing each and everyone of my subjects, which is why I've give up on school and any dream I had of ever being anything in life. Also any hopes for marrying and having kids are out the door as well because there is no one that could deal with this all as well, in fact I would never want to burden anyone with this stress.

Im lost in what to do. I feel like my whole life is falling apart because of my stupid dad. No matter if he were around or not he was always going to be the reason why I fail in life. His deep and brutal voice will always be in my head constantly reminding me I'm not good enough.

I know it isn't the sad and deep story you were all hoping for but its my story and to me this feels like the worst thing in the world. Im throwing my future away just to look after the two women I love the most in this world.

I question myself if I even have time for this support group, but right now I'm seeing it as my only way to have anyone to understand me or try and understand me.

Ava : I understand you.