Harry Potter and The Bungling Teacher.

Chapter Six.

Chapter Six.

Detention or what it is not.

Gretchen walked towards the Defense against the Dark Arts class room, where Harry was standing waiting for her to arrive. "Are you waiting for me or waiting to get an answer from Barfhart?" Gretchen asked the question to Harry.

They walked into the class room to see no one there at all.

"And where is Lockhart?" Harry asked Gretchen.

Lockhart walked out of his office and was surprised to see them standing there. "I didn't expect you two here."

"Um Lockhart, do you know what we are suppose to be doing?" asked Gretchen. "We both have detention with you."

"Helping me, of course," he gave her one of his famous smiles. "I mean Gretchen you have such beautiful handwriting. You can sign autographs and Harry my dear boy. You can answer my fan mail."

Harry look at the large bags of fan mail, he moaned as he wondered how long will this take. Hopefully, it would not too long.

"Buck up, Harry, it will be fun," said Lockhart, as he placed the bag of fan mail by Harry's desk. He turned towards Gretchen and handed her a huge stack of autographs of him riding a broomstick in Quidditch clothes.

Gretchen moaned as she picked up her quill and dipped it into her ink well and started to sign Lockhart's name. "What have I done to deserve this," Gretchen muttered to herself.

Harry looked at the bag. He dumped out the fan mail on his desk; he looked like he wanted to cry. He thought it was only a few hundred letters, but the letters were shrunken down to a size that they could be hauled easily.

Harry breathed in deep and opened one. It was a marriage proposal. "Professor, you have a marriage proposal."

"Oh tell her I'm sorry I am married to my work. But thanks for the offer. Gretchen, be a dear and give her an autographed copy of Magical limited addition series; it has illustrated pictures of me,"

"Okay," Harry said, as he did what he was told. He opened another one and found that the woman was asking a question about a household pest. "Sir, what should I tell this woman about a household pest?"

"Um...tell her to smile at it,"

"Smile at it?" Harry asked, shocked.

"Uh yeah and tell her to add this." He threw a packet at Harry.

"What is it?" asked Harry.

"Oh, something that I created to combat some household pests," Lockhart said.

"This is shampoo," Harry said shocked.

"Shampoo," Gretchen said, "That's not how you get rid of household pests. Don't you know anything?"

"This one does, Miss Gretchen," Lockhart said.

"Oh and what is that," she replied in a snotty tone. "What's the matter Lockhart cat got your tongue,"

Lockhart got her busy with more autographs. But writing his name over and over again, she decided to improvise and be really naughty. She started to sign 'Harry Potter' name to Lockhart's picture. But she did this intermittently, so no one would be concerned about it. 'This man is stupid he wouldn't know the difference,' Gretchen thought.

Hours later, Harry was yawning tiredly and she started to yawn so Lockhart would let them go so they could get to bed. It was almost midnight.

"Tat tat you can't be tired the night is young," Lockhart chimed.

"Sorry, sir, but I'm tired," Harry said. "And my writing hand is getting sore."

"As is mine, sir, we must have been here for several hours," said Gretchen.

"We must not disappoint my fans now can't we?" Lockhart replied, flashing one of his darling smiles.

"But sir," Gretchen cried, "It's almost midnight!"

"Oh! That's right; we're burning the midnight oil." He chimed cheerfully, as he noticed that her photo levels were down to a dozen photos. "Here are more photos. These must be all done before you leave."

Harry looked at him shocked that they had to keep working; he was nodding off reading some of Lockhart's fan mail. He wished he never get another detention with Lockhart again – he was worse than Snape's detention, but at least when you got to the point where you were going to be a hazard to someone else, your detention would be over. "Um, sir, we got classes in the morning. I'm sure you do not want us to fall asleep in the middle of a class because we had to stay up doing this detention."

Lockhart seemed to put his quill down to look at them both. Both were ready to drop at any moment and sleep. "I suppose it is wise to put a stop to this. You two may go now."

They hurried towards the door and left the classroom. Harry looked at Gretchen as she watched the door close in front of them.

"I hate Lockhart! That was not a detention! That was punishment! Wait till my mother hears about this!" Gretchen snarled.

"I have to agree with you there, Ms. MacNair, that supposed detention was really a punishment," said Harry, as they walked down the hallway to the stairs and headed for their proper tower.

Harry grumbled as he took off his robe as he sat down on his bed. He wanted nothing more than to get under his sheets and fall asleep.

"Hey Harry, where were you...its after 3am?" Ron asked.

"That stupid Lockhart had me answer his fan mail all night long and had Gretchen sign autographs. He knew nothing of what a detention was...that detention was not a detention but a punishment. I know I do not want to have another one with him."

"Bloody hell," Ron replied.

"Bloody hell is right. I'm completely tired, Ron. I am going to get some sleep while I can, hopefully, I can keep myself awake tomorrow." Harry said, as he climbed into his bed and quickly fell asleep.

To Be Continued . . .