Everything I Didn't Say

Chapter 1

Valerie's point of view:

     It's been ten months since Luke left. I have not spoken to him at all. He never tried to call, text, or email. I mean I told him not to that night in the park but I thought he would at least try to contact me. I don't think he ever understood that me not saying goodbye to him was the for the best. I got out of bed and decided to have a shower and get dressed for the day. I put my black hoodie that said "Leave me alone" on with some black ripped skinny jeans and black vans. It was October but it wasn't exactly even that cold, but October means hoodie season and I love hoodies what can I say. I walked downstairs to see my mom making breakfast. "Good morning mom." She looked up and smiled at me. "Good morning dear can you take care of your little sister and brother while I finish making breakfast." I picked up my twin siblings from their highchairs. "of course" I said while walking off into the living room. My little brothers name is Jason and my little sisters name is Kalel. I can not believe that next month they will be a year old and this month my dad will have been gone for a year. The twins will never meet him and it hurts knowing that. He passed away of course before they were born in a work accident. It is still hard to talk about, my dad was an amazing person. We are struggling without him, we don't have a lot of money and having younger ones in the house just makes it harder. I watch as Kalel and Jason play on the floor and I take my phone out. I scroll through all of my social media accounts but then something on twitter catches my eye. Ashton the drummer for the band that Luke was in tweeted "One more show and then back home to Sydney this tour has been incredible XXX." I didn't think anything of it until my brain finally kicked in if the tour is over and Ashton is coming home then so is Luke"

    My mom called out that breakfast was ready and interrupted my train of thought. I picked up the twins and placed them back in their highchairs at the dining room table. My mother placed my plate in front of me and sat down herself. Honestly I don't know why my mom still cooks for me. I'm almost 17 you think she wouldn't want to do that stuff but every time I offer my help she just declines. My mother is talking to me but I can not focus all I can think about is that Luke is actually going to be back. I mean I guess I always knew he would return home, but I never thought about what would happen when he returned home until now. Luke is no longer my best friend and nobody ever really replaced him. He was always my only friend and I guess when he left I shut myself out from the world. Now that he is back am I still going to be like that? I'm going to have to see the boy I refused to say goodbye to because it hurt to much for the first time in 10 months. That day that he left is the day I lost all my happiness. don't tell me I'm being over dramatic either we may have been just best friends, but every time I looked into his striking blue eyes I felt something more. I'm not going to lie I fantasized about Luke telling me he loved me and wanted to be with me. It never happened, but I still wish it did because I love that boy with all my heart. I looked up from my food and realized that I barley touched it so it had become cold. "Valerie darling you barley ate do you want me to put it away for later." I stood up and grabbed my plate. "oh no I was just busy thinking I have some errands to run is it okay if I leave." I spoke as I emptied my plate into the trash. "You are 16 what errands could you possibly have?" I laughed at my moms response.  "I'm almost 17 mom remember that and I just have a couple things I want to do and I have school tomorrow so I cant do them then." My mother hugged me then stood back and seemed to be scanning me up and down. "Look at my baby girl almost 17 I cant believe how much you have grown go ahead and do whatever you have to do be safe" I laughed at my mom being all sentimental it was actually rare that she would do that. "okay mom bye." I grabbed my purse and was out the door.

    I didn't exactly know where I was going I just wanted to be out of the house for a little bit. I started getting hot in my hoodie but I realized I didn't put a shirt on underneath it sadly. It wasn't as chilly as I had hoped it would be in Sydney today. I walked until I came upon a little corner store and decided   to head inside. I went over to the food section to grab a candy bar and a drink. Yes, I'm aware that I'm fat hahah I seriously love food like a lot. On my way to the food section something in the hair aisle caught my eye. I saw all these bright colors pink, blue, purple, yellow, green. I had never seen so many awesome colors for hair in my entire life. I grabbed a sky blue box and inspected it. I was born with natural super blonde hair so I wouldn't have to bleach it. I decide to buy the box of hair dye and give it a go. Might as well try something different. This time I actually headed to the food isle without getting distracted. I grabbed a candy bar and a drink then proceeded to the check out. I paid for my items and then decided to head to the beach. I mean I'm not in beach clothing but I have a little secret hideout that doesn't require a dress code. Once I arrived at the beach I take a sharp turn left and head up a hill. sitting on the hill is this huge rock I climb all the way to the top and look out to see the ocean view. It is pretty easy to see a huge rock but the hill has a cliff edge and nobody can see past it. I love it up here I tend to do my very best thinking on this rock. I lay back and plug my headphones into my phone. I hit shuffle on my playlist and close my eyes. "I Miss You" by: Blink-182 comes on. My mind automatically drifts to Luke this was his favorite song. Why cant he ever escape my thoughts? No matter what I do he is always there. I hit shuffle one more time he was the last thing I wanted to think about at the moment. "Hold On" By: Good Charlotte came on. That song was personally my favorite. My entire body relaxed as the sweet music played into my ears I let a couple more songs play but one lyric stayed in my head. As I stood up to walk back home I walked to the very edge of the rock and looked out onto the beach. "Hold on if you feel like letting go" I whispered softly into the air before turning around and starting to walk back home. On the way back home I passed the park with the tree and bench path. Every time I look at that park all I see is darkness, sadness, and hopelessness. I refused to go to that park anymore. Even when my mom asked me to take my younger siblings to the park we would go to the one that's almost all the way across town. What can I say besides to this very day I still don't know if I screwed up or not. I finished my walk home and saw a note left on the counter my mom had stated that she went out so I walked upstairs to my room to take a nap.

    By the time I woke up and checked the clock I saw that it was 8:30 at night. Why didn't my mom wake me up for dinner?  I walk downstairs and see another note I guess my mom has a thing for notes now. The note read "Hey sweetie didn't know what time you got home you looked so peaceful sleeping and I did not want to bother you dinner is in the microwave." I smiled and threw the note away. I wasn't really hungry but food is food and I was still going to eat it. I opened the microwave and saw pizza!! yessss my mom loves me!! I sat down at my dining room table and took a bite  of one of the slices. I took my hair dye that I bought earlier out of the bag and started reading the instructions. I wanted to do it tonight just in case my mom saw the dye and said no. I feel bad for not telling her but I really want to do it and I can not take the risk of her saying no. I finished my pizza and walked upstairs to the bathroom attached to my room. I shut the door and locked it then got to work right away on dyeing my hair. While the hair dye sat I picked out my clothes for school the next day and packed a lunch so I didn't have to do it in the morning. It was nice doing that to be honest because I never get anything done like ever. I got all the dye out of my hair then I blow-dryed it. I have to say I'm quite obsessed with it. I think it suits me very well and to be honest I was in need of a change. My mom wont be here in the morning she will be at work so i wonder what she will say when she gets home from work. ugh lets pray it is good. I set my alarm and stared upwards at my ceiling. "Hold on if you feel like letting go" I whisper right before I fall asleep.

    The very next day I got up and got ready fro school. School was pretty boring and really nothing much to tell you I had totally forgotten that Luke would be back until I had gotten home. Once school was over and the bell had rung I started to walk home. I watched my shoes step onto the cement pavement one by one all the way to my house. I reached the door and went to unlock it when I felt a tap on my shoulder. "excuse me miss but do you by any chance know what happened to the family that used to live here?" I turned around and looked up. "Valerie" His face went blank and so did mine "Luke"

A/N Hello thanks for making it this far into the story!! let me know if you want to see what the characters look like. lets get this chapter to 10 votes!!