little nothings || a.b.

3.0

SCARLET

Dani and Mark walk in just as Andy blacks out on me. They help me pick him up. We all agree to bring him to get stitches. Andy is bigger than all three of us, but we somehow manage to pick him up and carry him down the stairs and t Dani's car. It was a quick ride while I held Andy in my arms in the back seat. 

We let the doctors take an unconscious Andy back to do the stitching while Dani, Mark, and I say I  the waiting room. They said it shouldn't take too long. "Are you alright?" Dani asks me as I sit quietly. I shrug my shoulders, "It's just a scary experience. I didn't know he went out and did those things." Dani sighed, "He does have some anger issues... He was upset about something when he showed up. I know he was." 

"Yeah. When he left it was really weird." I murmur. 

My mind flashes back to just yesterday when he stormed into my dorm and smashed his lips on mine. I keep recalling that memeory, and every time I get a bit more confused. I don't know how he feels anymore.

"Does he have mental problems?" I ask Dani as a completely serious question. She makes a strange face at me, "No, why?" I look down at my toes. "I always hear him saying things, but he's always too quiet for me to hear what he's saying. I feel like they're directed at me." I confess. 

Dani sits back, "I don't know. He doesn't do that to me."

"Oh." I said quietly in reply.

"Are you scared of him?" Dani asks. 

"Honestly, yes." I admit.

I've made up my mind that I don't like this lifestyle change. I want things back to the way they were. I want my simple life back. He came in and crashed it, Dani too, but not like Andy did. 

"I am too." She says. 

"Then why don't you leave him alone?" I ask her. My tone came out a bit harsher than intended, but she spoke before I could apologize.

"There's some type of rare, delicate beauty in people like him, people who are broken. Most of the time they're mad and scary, but every once in a while you see a bright light, like an unexpected sunbeam, shine thorough the cracks in their heart. It's beautiful really. I haven't seen that in Andy yet, that's why I've stayed." She tells me. 

I sit back and stay quiet as she turns to Mark and they talk quietly to each other. I'm starting to realize that I can't do this. 

A conscious Andy walks out to us. All three of us stand, looking at him and not knowing what to say. "I already paid." He says flatly. "Alright then. Let's go." Dani sighs. I can feel it in the air that we all want to get out of here as soon as possible. We all walk quietly to the car and I'm stuck in the back with Andy. My head is pounding. I'm so exhausted. By this time, normal people are awake and getting to work. I've been up since who knows what time helping Andy. I lean my head against the window and shut my eyes.

I just want to get back to the dorm. I want it to be quiet.

I want to study and focus on studying. My exams are coming up fast. 

I wake up to someone carrying me down the hall to my dorm. I try to open my eyes, but my body is too exhausted. I look up to see Andy's sharp jawline and swirls of his neck tattoo of a feather.

No... Please put me down. 

Our dorm room opens as he places me back in my bed. It was still placed in the same way that I had ripped it off hours earlier, not that I would expect it to be any different. He lays me down and covers me up.

His lips plant a light kiss on my temple and I flinch. I feel him freeze above me and then pulls away quickly. He disappears out of the door as I keep my eyes closed.

I pull the covers over my head and bite my finger, trying to prevent myself from screaming. I hear Dani come in quietly and she sits on the edge of my bed. "You know. He does these things often." She whispers. "Okay." I reply quietly. 

"Do you need some space? I know all of this party shit is new to you." She asks.

"Just a little space." I say while trying to prevent myself from sniffing. A little is definitely an understatement. I want to go home.

She gets off of the bed, and I peek over the covers as she goes over to lay down, facing the opposite wall as she does so. I never saw her stir again. 

It's not that I don't like Andy as a person, it's just that I don't understand him. 

He also frightens me.

I've never met someone with so many tattoos and an out of control temper and bad mouth. I just need some time to study and get my head in check I guess. 

My mind flashes to the first time we kissed which was while I was showering. The first time he touched me I flinched. 

He just kissed my temple sweetly and I flinched.

Why am I so uncomfortable? Maybe it's a sign. I shouldn't be in these things. What would my mom say if I were to come home with him? Would he even let me meet his parents? 

Endless questions flood through my mind as I think about every moment I've spent with Andy. If hasn't been long, but a lot has happened. Especially the painting thing. That confused me. Why is that such a big deal? 

I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I notice that my heart is hammering against my chest. I close my eyes and hold on to the comforter tightly as if it were a person, wishing that it was. I hate lonely nights, although at the moment I want to be alone. I scoff at my own confusing mind. How am I supposed to understand others if I cannot understand myself?

I guess that's where the work starts.