Dear Troye

Letter Fourty Three

Dear Troye,
At first I thought I'd be okay without you. There was a thought in the back of my mind that maybe you did still love me and you were in denial of it.

Though seeing you with Matt every morning, broke me. I saw everything. The smiles, the meals, the dancing, the touching, the things you guys all loved to do, what we used to do.

I watched you kiss him and smile at him the same way you did when you first took that month off. I remember the way you used to hold me, though now your arms are filled with him.

You're my favourite thing and sometimes when you see me while you're in the kitchen, you'll smile before walking off to go and meet your husband.

When you guys got married, things were hard. I didn't sleep at night, just lay awake, staring across the street. Though the hardest times were when you guys adopted children.

Harry and Sam.

They call you Daddy and they call Matt, Dad. They're lovely kids really, you're a nice family.

When you and Matt need time out to yourselves, you bring the kids across the street and make me look after them. I can never say no, I love them like my own kids.

They call me Uncle Con and say I'm the coolest guy in the world though nothing could compare to their Daddy.

They saw a photo of you and me kissing in my room the other night. I just sighed and told them about what we used to be.

They said they would love to have me as their Dad. That made me cry. They hugged me and wiped my tears away and so we all sat on the floor, talking to each other like we were the best of buds.

Then you came to pick them up. You gave me a hug before you left, thanking me.

I'll never forget you Troye. No matter how lonely this place gets. I'm not chasing anyone else anymore, only you. I'm waiting for the day that you and Matt decide to leave each other's sides, the day you just might love me back.

I'm always just across the street.

Love you,
Your Con x