I knew the day I woke up crying she would be gone but why would she do this? She was so happy we hang out two day ago and now she is dead? Please let this be a nightmare please just wake up now. I knew it was real when mom came in trying to get me to clam down. I told her to go away....this is not right i should have called her yesterday but never did. Why does it hurt so much we got into a stupid fucking fight yesterday. No goodbye i am sorry nothing. I made her do this it should be me i tryed to die many times but she always saved me why didnt i save her why?
I loved her she was like a sister to me but i never saved her she always helpped me with my, cutting and shit. Why not me please let it be me but it wasnt i should have helpped her made her feel happy like she always did me. " I WANT HER BACK" i cryed cant they just take my life please lets just trade place please. She was everything to me.....this is just a dream i say again but it wasnt it was real to real to belive. She promised and i promised but she is gone now i promised her i told my self but gave up next thing there was blood dripping down my arm with a knife by it. I covered up just so mom wouldn't see " why not mee why" i said crying my self to sleep.
But i just woke up screaming and knew she was gone and was never coming back the thought made it worst its my fault i told myself your are a fuck up why didnt you save her. I put a long sleeves shirt on and got back to sleep but all i see is bree laying there with blood running down her arm pills everywhere. Why not me she was a good person never hurt anyone she was always happy but thats what i thought. I cant get it out of my head all people around her house the blood the pills its my fault. She always said she was okay but i knew better but never said anything i didnt want her to hate me. But now she is dead and cant be brought back i hate my self for letting her down. I cant breath now i cant see i am screaming for help but stop and hoping that this could be the way to see bree. But mom got to me first giving my inhaler i can breath now but wish i couldnt. I strated to cry again all day i have cryed " its okay" mom saids " no its not just go" i said they walk away i fell back on my bed crying to sleep. But it ends just like last time with me waking up crying i call her phone knowing she wont answer i just wanna hear her voice." Hey its bree cant talk hang out with j byzz" i cryed harder wishing the pain could go away. Wishing we could hang out again maybe she would be here if i just called.
(So i hope you enjoy i will update when i cant comment and tell me what you think💕)
YOU ARE READING
Depression
Non-FictionI though it was a dream she couldn't be dead. Its my fault i thought as blood dipped from my arm
