Dean Winchester Is A Gay Virgin (Destiel)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Dean

Dean Winchester has a grand total of two big secrets:

Secret #1 is that he's a virgin.

Secret #2 is that he's gay.

The latter, he feels, is the cause of the former. He's not what one would call "out" about his sexuality, having an overbearing father who Dean is fairly certain would disown him if he ever found out.

And Dean is quite partial to having both food and shelter.

Dean is a virgin because he's kept himself off the market purposefully, so as not to take a chance at anyone finding out and ruining both his reputation as the town's star pitcher (no pun intended), and risking his baseball scholarship.

Sam thinks Dean might be paranoid about that last part, that no one would take away Dean's scholarship just because he digs dudes, but Dean also has an image to uphold. It's a heavy burden to bear, but Dean has dreams, and he knows the darkness of this world far too much to trust that it will accept him with open arms for exactly who he is.

Dean's little brother Sammy is the only other person who knows. He probably knows the first secret too, the kid being MENSA-level smart, and having never seen Dean express any genuine romantic interest in anyone, ever.

When Sam found out, he was 13 years old and Dean was 17. Dean came home from school to find Sam kneeling at the foot of Dean's bed, rifling through a shoebox of gay porn mags.

Dean thought he was going to die right then and there, that his cover was blown, that this was the end. Their dad would kick him out of the house and he would be thrown to the wolves. Dean trusted that Sammy could keep a secret about as well as his father could keep a bottle of booze in the house without drinking it in a single evening. That is to say, not at all.

"Sam," Dean had said, eyes wide and heart pounding in his chest, dropping his book bag to the ground. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Bless Sam Winchester, he didn't look shocked, or disappointed, or even confused. He just looked at Dean and asked, "So you don't have anygirl porn?"

Dean could have cried with relief, but even he wasn't that gay.

Four years later, Dean is a psych major at Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio. Both he and his father work full time at Bobby's auto shop downtown, so with both school and baseball thrown in the mix, Dean doesn't have time for dating anyway. Or friends. Or fun. Or even sleep, some days.

Dean finishes up at the shop early today, so he heads to class early—Behavioral Neuroscience—and is stoked that he has a few minutes to shovel a piece of pizza down his throat so that he doesn't have to suffer through two hours of the history of prefrontal lobotomies on an empty stomach.

On his way into the cafeteria, he sees a group of colorfully-dressed individuals standing outside of the building.

One of them, a guy in a bright blue Hawaiian shirt and a plastic lei, cuts in front of Dean as he reaches for the door and shoves a flyer in Dean's face. "We're having a luau!" he exclaims in a voice that is completely contradictory to his attire: it's deep, gravelly, and far too serious to be excitedly telling Dean about a luau.

Dean crosses his eyes to look at the flyer. It's as colorful as the gaggle of people behind the man who is standing a bit too close in Dean's personal space. Dean grabs the piece of paper from the man's hand and looks at him.

The guy takes off his 80s style Raybans and has eyes that are impossibly bright blue, brighter even than his shirt, which could hail airplanes from the sky.