Dean Winchester Is A Gay Virgin (Destiel)

Chapter 4: Chapter 2: Cas

Trigger Warning: domestic violence, gay bullying, sex shaming

Cas momentarily forgets the world around him when he asks Dean for his number. "So, um... no homo, but can I have your number?"

There's a second when his question is precariously balanced in the air, when Dean looks at him, expression unreadable, and Cas thinks he's overstepped a line with Dean. Then, to Cas's relief, Dean smiles and holds out his hand for Cas's phone.

Castiel reaches for his back pocket, feels nothing but his grass skirt, and remembers he's wearing jogging shorts underneath. He pulls his phone out of the small pocket in the waistband of his shorts and hands it to Dean, who looks at it, hesitates, and frowns. He punches a few buttons, and hands it back to Cas with a warm smile, all traces of the frown gone. "Text me sometime," he begins. "I want to come the next LBQTGMSTVRXQLP event that you have."

Cas's heart swells, and he laughs, "It's LGBTQA."

"Sorry, I'm kind of dumb about this stuff. What does that stand for?" Dean asks.

"Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer or questioning, and ally or asexual."

Dean shuffles his feet and looks down, suddenly shy. "Sorry if this is too personal a question, but which one of those are you?" He looks back up at Cas, bright green eyes shining with innocent curiosity.

There's a moment where Cas's past flits through his mind, being an openly gay boy in Russia, an orphan, on the streets selling himself to shady politicians, rich business owners, anyone with a few coins in their pockets to spare so that Cas could keep himself and Anna fed.

Cas is only 21, but he feels centuries old. He believes he's seen the world at its darkest, and the few tiny bright lights in that darkness are the only reason to keep going: the Annas of the world and the Dean Winchesters; the innocent, and the pure. The people so unlike Cas, who has done so many awful, terrible things in his short life that he doesn't feel like he deserves to be in the presence of the shining beacon of light standing right in front of him, smiling at Cas like he's actually worth more than 500 rubles, the US equivalent of $15.

For a blissful, brief second, the light is so blinding that Castiel forgets that he's about to go home to the darkest shadow of them all: the highest bidder, Dick Roman.

But Cas doesn't let any of this show. He straps it all down tight within his gut, and smiles up at Dean like his biggest concern is how soon is too soon to send Dean a text message. "I'm gay, Dean."

It doesn't matter how many times he says it, saying, "I'm gay," out loud in the presence of someone he knows won't bat an eyelash at it is one of the best feelings in the world, and one of the few reliefs Cas gets within the constant pain of his jagged-edged life.

"Cool," Dean nods. "Well if you want to hang out sometime, let me know. We can go for coffee or whatever and you can teach me more about LGB... TQ... A... stuff."

"Sure," Cas replies, heart lifting in his chest. "I'll text you."

"Cool." Dean says again, taking another step backward. "Yeah." He takes another step and bumps into a table behind him, then skirts around it. Lifting the corners of his mouth slightly, he raises his hand and waves, concluding with, "See you later, Cas."

"See you later, Dean," Cas replies, grin plastered on his face.

Cas takes a deep breath, reveling for a few more seconds in the afterglow of Dean's presence, and pulls his phone out.

Time to panic.

Dick sent him 12 text messages and called him 5 times. The notifications were gone so Cas knows Dean saw them. His heart sinks.