Random Book of Random Things That Random People Can read if Their Feeling Random

12-Random Jokes

Random Jokes to Tell to Your Random Friends

1. If you ever get cold just stand in a corner for a few minutes. There usually about 90 degrees.

2. My wife told me I was a fool to build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen then look on her face as I drove pasta.

(This one is best said out loud)

3. Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy 'Im gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!'

He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!'

Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go home.'

So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.

'I cant work in the friggin dark! ' says Murphy

4. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

She had bad blood.

5. Where does the dog go to find his tail if he loses it?

The retail store.

6. What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

7. What did one butt cheek say to the other?

Together we can stop this sh*t.

8. What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get a cast.

9. Accidentally broke my Irish friend's Pixar movie. He wasn't amused, but he did say "You cracked me Up."

10. The smell of a deli can make you crave a sandwich subconsciously.

11. Why did the Blonde pee in the Grocery Store?

The sign said ''Wet Floor.''

12. What sort of bagel can fly?

A plain one.

Yeah okay, not the best jokes. Sorry that there a bit cheesy and cringe worthy.