I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.As soon as i clicked the switch a buzzing noise sounded from the clippers and i quickly started cutting the left side of my fearless mane.By the time i made it to the middle of my head i was soaking with tears.i looked in the mirror a my half bald head and i began thinking to myself in many ways of how fucked my life really is.after about 5 minuets of me zoning out i hear a huge crashing noise like glass breaking than i came to the realization that it was glass that broke because i had threw the clippers toward it .anger,regret,sorrow and curiosity is the only things im feeling at the moment.next i hear a beating at the door,and i silently hoped it was chresanto trying to make it right between us but it wasnt him.after every beat at the door was a scream through the door.
"Daddy unlock the door!''
she continued to beat. kaliya still didn't know about me having cancer and i didn't want her to find out this way.she will hate me for not telling her that i was slowly dieing,but with all this stress my time might come quicker than needed .
"emily im scared!''
my baby girl cried over the phone.i dont wanna go out there and face my daugher in the face and tell her the horrible news......
"i dont know whats happening!............i dont know i just walked into the house!.........it sounds like he broke the glass......bathroom..... Please hurry!.
About 10-20 mins later i heard Emily's voice
"Daddy please open up......"
I ignored her and not even 5 seconds later my door had been busted down.
As soon as kaliya seen me she ran in her room and threw up.Emily left me standing there while she went to help her sister,and i followed .
"Nooo not my daddyyy"
I managed to hear through her crying.i lifted her off of the ground and held her tight while Emily sortta stood by and cried herself.
"Why didn't tell me i-i would've spent more time-"
"Shh you don't have to speak"
I cut her off.i sat in her bed and sat her on my lap.i wiped her tears away
"Im not going anywhere princess"
Her crying eased a bit as she stared at me
"What's wrong lashae..why are you staring at me like that?"
"You haven't called me any of my nick names since i was little"
She giggled
"I thought you didnt like your names?"
"Yeah i didnt but now i appreciate them all.lashae,princess,liya,and angel"
Hearing "angel" made me cringe
"Pops always called me angel,even when i was showing out.....where is pops anyway?"
I looked my princess in her big blue eyes and sighed right before a tear slipped out of my eyes
"He's gone..."
"What do you mean he's gone"
She sat up and yelled in a panicked scared tone
"I kicked him out"
I cried more
"Why what he do?"
She asked getting slowly angry"
"He cheated on me.."
"are you OK?"
She quickly sat up
I looked my baby girl in the eyes
''yeah baby girl im fine''
Emily walked over to us and sat herself on her sisters lap
"You know...pops owes me money.."
She said holding her hand out.i chuckled
"Well take that up with the man himself cause i dont have nothing"
