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Up to this day, it haunts me, it angers me, but most of all it saddens me that I couldn't go with him.

He is still supposed to be here.

We were supposed to say our wedding vows.

We were suposed to say 'I do'.

We were supposed to have kids!

We were suppose to raise them to persue what they love to do!

We were supposed to love and care for them, we were supposed to love each other with all of our strength, because that's what we promised to do. We knew we were meant to be, we promised each other that no matter what obstacles got in the way. We knew we were meant to be. We'd fight for our relationship.

We promised to make each other happy, and that's exactly what he did. That's what we did for each other, at least I hope I made him happy.

We'd have it all.

I know for sure if Ashton would've had a choice to stay, he wouldn't take even a second to take it. Because he was such a loving person. He loved his family, friends and his fans, he'd do whatever it took to make them smile. And I know for a fact, that he wouldn't want to have seen all of us cry. But how can we not when our Sun was taken away from us?

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