Childhood feelings

A/N: Copyright to myself! Posted this on fictionpress but decided to post it here too!

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"Ember!" Someone called behind me. I looked behind to see my childhood friend, Adrian catching up after me. He was panting so much when caught up to me. Guess he forgot to set the alarm again.

"So? Managed to finish the homework?" I asked in a teasing tone.

His eyes widened in shock. Looks like he forgot after all. Really, some things never change in time.

I met him when we were in kindergarten. I was getting bullied by the other students because of my height and then he saved me. Well, he also got beat up by the others and after that scene, the teacher scolded us. He was covered in bruises and asked if he was alright, he only looked at me with a confused face and smiled brightly at me saying that "I am alright" though after that, he collapsed on the way home so I carried him to his house. After that, we became friends until now.

"The report…" He mumbled, face palming.

I laughed at him. I really should help him this time.

"Don't worry, I got you covered." I said handing over to him a bundle of papers. He stared at me first before glancing at the paper I was holding. He brightened up a bit but returned to looking a bit worried.

"Are you sure…?" He said glancing at me, expecting an answer.

I shrugged and shoved the papers to his hands.

"You helped me out at the Math test so it's fine." I said and smiled as I saw him holding the papers.

He stared at it for a moment as if contemplating whether he really should accept it.

At first I thought that he wouldn't accept it but he smiled, to my surprise, and latched forward to me.

"Thank You!" he said happily and kissed me at the cheek before backing away to stash the papers away to his bag.

I was so thankful to the Gods watching that he didn't seem to notice the blush that was forming on my face. Yup, this really isn't going to be easy to hide. After being with him for 10 years was enough to make me realize that I'm in love with him. Typical story for childhood friends but this isn't a story of some sort, this is my life. Being in love with your childhood friend is hard to hide, I mean, the kissing on the cheek is really normal to us since our childhood but now, it forms a feeling of butterflies fluttering around my stomach and a massive blood rush to my face.

"Hey Ember, we're here already. Why are you going to pass it?" He suddenly said. That caused me to snap out of my musings and looked at him. He was right; we're already here at our school. Was I so focused on my own thinking that I didn't notice that we were walking?

"Oh, you're right" I said blinking.

He walked close to me – close enough that he was invading my personal space – and stared right into my eyes. I felt a blush already forming but I desperately tried to stop it. It was then, when I looked straight into his eyes, that I got lost in his deep blue eyes. There was something… odd. I tried to look deeper into his eyes to see if something was wrong but wasn't able to because he quickly whipped away and turned around.

"C'mon, we're going to be late." He said.

I followed him into the school grounds heading to our room while exchanging greetings with some of the people we passed by.

It was lunch time.

I was looking around the school to see where Adrian had gone off to. I was going to ask him about some of the lessons I didn't understand. Pssshh… Yeah, right. That's just my excuse; I just want to see him.

I was in the back of the school building when I caught sight of Adrian. He was talking to a girl, a senior I guess. They looked very close together. I kind of got jealous of that, seeing someone you love being around somebody else is disheartening. I looked away then, missing the small glance of Adrian to my direction.

I wish that I can tell him my feelings because I can't help but feel sad when I see him around other girls. The feeling of jealousy has always been there, close enough that I want him to be mine. But there is also the fear of the What-ifs. What if he doesn't like me that way? How would it play out then? Would he be able to accept my feelings? What if- What if he likes someone else?

The thought almost made me tear up. It wouldn't be good to be seen here. So I did what I thought of first. I ran towards the washroom. I cried my heart out inside a cubicle.

These feelings are just too strong for me to handle. I have always been on the side; the one who watches. He was the one who gave light to my world so he is someone dearly important. I vowed to myself that I would hide these feelings I have towards him 'till the end. But I guess it really is too hard for me to do that.

After I finished crying my heart out, I stepped out of the cubicle to wash my face. Good thing that no one was there. After checking that my eyes aren't that swollen anymore, I walked out of the washroom to go back to class. It's already past lunch time.

Class dismissal was unusually early today. So after I packed up my things inside my bag, I approached Adrian. We go always go home together.

"Hey Adrian, ready to go home?" I said to him.

He flinched a bit before relaxing again. Weird.

"Ah, sorry. I have something to do today so you can go home without me." He said stiffly.

Alright, something's definitely up. With him acting like this, I'm sure he's doing something behind my back or is hiding something. I was about to force him to spill it when someone called out to him.

"Adrian!" A girl called at the door of our room. I recognized her as the senior he was speaking with in lunch time. I felt a bout of jealousy surfacing again.

"Ah. May…" He said picking up his bag and walked to her. "Sorry, Ember. I really have something to do, so go home first."

I sighed and responded.

"Alright." I said.

There was something in his expression that was odd. Was that apology? Nah must be my imagination.

I walked out of the room and started my way back home.