Chapter 1

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Nialls POV
The thought of Harry dating someone else made me feel miserable. He's dating someone else who clearly doesn't deserve him, Louis Tomlinson. I've warned him several times about that boy, but he didn't listen. Instead he accepted his confession and became "lovers". I knew there was something wrong with this relationship they had. Louis never understood Harry. Whenever they talk, Louis always seems so far out, it's like he's looking somewhere else. It's just pathetic that he is the one who's dating someone I love. But for some reason he grew attached to him. He gave him his heart. When Louis' scandalous conversations with other girls and boys were exposed, Harry's heart broke. It was conversations about how Louis is being cheated on by Harry, so he can date the girls and boys. I just don't understand. How could someone be this mean and cruel? Harry didn't do anything, obviously, he didn't pick a fight with him, hit him, or anything. He just asked me for comfort. I've always been his ranting buddy, and the other way around. I need to give him something special. Something that he'll appreciate, something he'll remember, something he'll hang on a wall. What is that thing? Is it a polaroid of us? Why would that be comforting? Or shall I gave him a painting of him, oh wait I can't paint. Then it dawned to me. A note. It sounds very cliché, I know, but I don't care. I want him to read a long note about all my thoughts. I want him to understand me fully. I grabbed the heart shaped paper Liam (my roommate) collects for notes (its cheesy, really). I took a pen and started writing. I poured my heart onto it, my thoughts of Harry, my thoughts of their relationship, and our memories. Before you know it, I started crying. I don't know why. Maybe because it hasn't dawned to me yet that they are a *real* couple. They are seriously dating. For years I've always seem them as a fake, a stunt, or just a  joke. But they're real, and there's nothing I can do about it. More tears streamed down my face, and some of them fell to the paper. It made me feel sad. The tears made splotches and coincidentally it fell to the "I love you" part of the letter. I can't help it. I remembered how I wanted to tell him how I feel but at the same day Louis did. I can't give this letter to him personally. I can't imagine his reaction, and how he feels about me. I need someone to give it to him. Liam can help me give it to him, I thought. I folded the paper into half and I called Liam. He came then I told him about it and he understood that it is private. I'm glad to have a friend like Liam, he's like a brother to me. I waited for about 30 minutes when I got a text.

Liam : I gave it to him :))))))

I hope this works.
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Louis POV
I reached into my pocket to find my spare key. I grasped it with my hands and fidgeted it into the door to open it seconds later. I saw no signs of Harry but I saw a light in the bathroom, also tissues on the ground. A lot of tissues. Shit, I didn't bring anything to make him forgive me. I looked around for a paper and saw one with writing on the front, but none on the back, perfect it was probably nothing anyways. I drew a big heart and put "I'm sorry" in the middle of it. I can't even remember the last time I spoke those words and meant it. I heard him coming out of the bathroom to see the face I always see every time we break up. A flushed white face with red all around his eyes, with his hair messed around everywhere. Maybe I should stop putting him in this state, but the thing is that "my boyfriend is cheating on me" card really works well with the ladies and news on this campus spreads fast, first time I broke up with Harry they knew right away so I have to stay with him. With the amount of girls that hate him he's lucky he's gay and not be like me he wouldn't get any girls in this college with that rep. I showed him my sign and he hugged me, ugh, just lets me go back to my party. "Please actually hang out with me just one night." I sighed I know if I didn't we'd just be over again. "Ok, sounds great babe" good thing I'm a great actor. "Here I wanna hang your sweet heart paper on the wall"  and so he did, I don't think he ever realized there was writing on the back. "Shall I get us some drinks" say yes "sure can I have a lemonade" yes "of course sweetie" kissing his forehead. I headed to the kitchen and made sure he was focused on the TV. I spiked his drink, no not to rape him, please he's been begging me to have sex with him for years, but then I would feel even worse for what I do to him. "Here's your drink" "thanks honey" I sat on the couch with him and we cuddled but I was quite antsy to get to my party. He finally passed out and I quietly dipped. Finally.
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Nialls POV
I was pacing for hours. My legs started to ache because I've been doing this on a regular basis for years now, but this is the longest I've ever done it. Then again this is the first time I've confessed my love. I heard my phone buzz and slipped on the floor and fell on my bum. Ow. Harry asked me to come over OMG did he read the note he's must've I grabbed my jacket and ran to my car. I finally got to outside harrys door and took 2 minutes just analyzing if I should really do this like what if he lets me down and doesn't wanna be friends anymore what if I ruined our friendship forever and I'll never have a chance. After 2 minutes of thinking I realized I already took that chance and I was just waiting to see the effect of it. Oh yeah. As I walked in I smelt some weird cologne I just ignored it and kept walking forward. Harry was passed out on the couch with a glass in his hand. I set it down and pulled his blanket up for him cause I know he always wakes up cold as he tells me everything. I look up to the wall and notice a paper with a heart that says I'm sorry. I immediately know what this means, it's one is Louis' scraps he finds in his room that he calls an "I'm sorry gift" Harry must have at least 6 of them by now. I know that strong cologne was his not Harrys because Harry doesn't need cologne cause he smells like cinnamon and sugar and I would continue but you get it ok? I sniff the boy often. I just left right away, he 100% called me there to let me down, I couldn't talk to him I couldn't do this I hate seeing him get hurt like this. I know everything about him and Louis forgot his birthday this year for bloody sake, why does he stay with him? That was a stupid question, he stays with him because he's Harry and he sees the light inside every person and he feels like he has to change them, but some people will always stay assholes no matter what you say or do they'll still say you're cheating to pick up girls. What kind of twisted mind would do that? I hit my head against the steering wheel at least 18 times before I actually start driving home. While I was driving, I can't get my mind off Harry. What did he think of me? Does he like me back, or does he not? Does he think I'm a freak now? I don't even know. I love him so much it hurts. And did Harry literally forgive Louis just because he gave him an "I'm Sorry" card? How much effort did it take him? Obviously it's not that hard, you just get a heart shaped paper (which, weirdly looks like mine/Liam's) and a pen, then write "I'm Sorry". Maybe I'm doing it wrong the whole time. Harry is too innocent. But I was also wondering why he was sleeping in front of the door. Did he get drunk? No. Harry would "never" do that. I decided to stop thinking about it and just try to get myself distracted. When I arrived to my apartment, I can see Liam is already working on his project. Our project was to make a journal surrounding our lives. Personally, I think it's a dumb idea. Why would anyone sell out themselves and their lives just to win a stupid "award". I'm a very personal person, that's the problem. Just thinking about my thoughts being read out loud made me want to crawl into a ball and then die. Liam looks very passionate about this though. He doesn't have to deal with heartbreaks and being rejected because he's already hot and the girls already love him. And Liam is very nice, which made him popular among the university. I put my jacket on the couch, then I slept there for a while. I haven't slept early for ages. I always sleep at 1 am+ because I can't get myself to get tired. There's always too many things in my head so I can't bother to sleep. But now I feel sleepy. Usually I don't, but I do. Maybe my brain is tired. Or maybe I just need to sleep. I rushed to my bedroom and threw myself there. Before you know it, I closed my eyes and slept away.

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