A [My] Dollhouse Family • {They'll Never Know}

We are perfect,
We are plastic,
We are pretty,
We are the ideal family.

Brother doesn't fight with me,
{"He plays with me all the time!"}
Mother and Father love each other,
{"They're always so sappy"}
Our dog is perfectly trained and doesn't bite.

But we are a dollhouse family,
We play pretend,
{"It's our daily routine to play this game"}
So that others don't know,
{"Unless they know..."}

Other's don't see,
{"Unless you look through our curtains"}
Other's don't hear,
{"Unless you crack open our door."}
Other's don't know,
{"Unless they know..."}

We are vile,
We are rotten,
Our gilded appearance shatters when we are alone.

Brother beats me bloody,
{"Those cuts on my legs weren't from the broken glass of my dropped soda pop."}
And breaks my toys,
{"I play with dolls with cracked faces and broken arms and legs"}
Then he blows smoke in my face as he lets out long drags of smoke from his cannabis cigarette,
{"I've got asthma from the smoke I've inhaled."}
The vile smell clings to my dolls and my books,
{"I try to block it out as if that would make it go away."} 

Mother and Father fight,
{"They never hug."}
And scream,
{"And shout."}
And yell,
{"And cry."}
That big black bruise on Mother's face isn't from falling down the stairs like she told everyone.
{"It's because she didn't bring Father's beer to him fast enough."}

Father's breath always smells like alcohol all the time,
{"The smell burns my nose."}
The only time Brother and I get along
Is when we're hiding from Father during a drunken rage.
{"But sometimes Brother still throws me at him to protect himself"}

Mother is always covered in bruises,
{"And cuts and scars mar her perfect skin; she hides them with make-up."}
She crys and comes to me after Father hurts her,
She says to me with tears in her eyes,
"Never get married baby doll."
{"When I got older I listened to her words."}
I would clean her cuts,
And wipe her tears,
And put her in my bed,
And sleep next to her because she felt safe with me.
{"I'm not safe though."}

I see things,
{"Scary things."}
Father must've slammed my head against the wall too many times,
{"He does it once or twice a day just because."}
I see people that aren't there,
{"I know they're not real but it doesn't feel that way."}
I see them watch us,
{"They think we're funny."}
They watch our family fall apart,
They watch as we pretend for other's,
{"They laugh when we do."}
I don't talk to them,
{"Mother would say to stop joking and Father would hit me for talking to nothing."}
So I just ignore them as they watch my family.
{"My dollhouse family."}

We are perfect,
We are plastic,
We are pretty,
We are the ideal family.

Other's don't see,
{"Unless you look through our curtains"}
Other's don't hear,
{"Unless you crack open our door."}
Other's don't know,
{"Unless they know..."}

We are vile,
We are rotten,
Our gilded appearance shatters when we are alone.

We smile for our pictures,
But only because no one has found out,
{"Our little secret."}
That we are a dollhouse family.
{"They will never know."}
~~~~~~~~
Wasn't that dark. Oml in case anyone is concerned about me after reading this: no I'm not abused, no my dad isn't an alchohalic, no my brothers don't hit me or break my stuff or do drugs (they are annoying little shits though just like all other brothers in the world), no my mom doesn't get beat up by my dad then comes to me for comfort. Just no to everything in this poem. None of it has any realtion to my life except for that it was born from a scary, dark corner in my brain that rarely shows itself. So yeah, I just like to write dark!hurt/comfort, abuse, etc things because they're things I feel strongly about fixing and so I show people through my writing what's probably going through a kid's mind when they live in that kind of situation. OkAY enOUgH OF MY MONOLOGUING THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT!!! THE NEXT POEM I WRITE, WHENEVER I ACTUALLY SIT DOWN TO WRITE ANOTHER ONE WILL BE HAPPY AND FILLED WITH UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS AND ALL THAT GOOD SHIT!!!! I love you all my children and please don't be scared of me. :)
~Kurosaki-Chan