Dear Love

Those were the days

I'm always replaying the day we met. Wishing i could not be there at that specific time or just leave and not look back at you.
I cannot begin to list the ways you have hurt me and the days you made me feel on top of the world and made me cry that same night.
I wasn't good enough for you, I know that now.
Why did you have to come into my life and build me up with hopes and dreams of pure happiness and love and then tear them down with those same hands.
My love, I miss you.
Dearly.
I forgive you for breaking my heart, I forgive you for breaking my trust. I forgive you for ruining the idea of ever finding joy and love within another person.
I cannot forget the moments we spent together. Or the times we wish the night never ended.
What about the times where it was you and I always working on something new ! We always had a new project to do or a new person to roast on.
What about those times where we would both feel as if we were in the bottom of a bottomless pit and we helped each other raise above that.
Who can forget the days where we both spoke words that were hotter than saunas, colder than the Rocky Mountains and smoother than the plains.
Oh ! The times were we would always be play fighting and our words were the swords that would gently slid across our chests because we cared too much for each other to really do harm.
Or maybe the times when we would stop and stare into the night sky, praying to the God above to save each other from the demons we both have.
Those were the days I miss, the days I realized you are truly the love of my life. 

Now.  

You're working on a different project with someone else. You don't need my help, you never did. We are still sinking to the bottom of the abyss but it's our pride that's preventing us from reaching out to each other and ask for help. It's our pride that will be the death of us. 

Those words that were as smooth as plains are now rough and edgy, the heat cooled down and the cold turned into evaporation.
Our words became our only ammo that we brought into the battle field. We drop bombs like soldiers. Like we get paid, and baby everyday is pay day. Our words went from causing us comfort and warmth to being the cause of our self hate.
You hate me. I hate you.
Those nights we look up at the sky, you probably pray to have never met Me. Or that He takes me far away from you and makes us forget those days I will never be able to forget.
i don't know about you. I still pray for you. I will always pray for you.