Father (manxman)

We've Arrived - Levi

We've Arrived - Levi (20 yrs old)
Damnit Ricky, you fuck up. What the fuck!? Can life be any more confusing? We seriously should have just taken a plane to Florida. I thought this road trip would be just what we needed. We would have fun and enjoy ourselves. We would relish in each others' presence and catch up on all the bullshit that's been happening.
He should have just kept his mouth closed. He shouldn't have asked for my phone. He should have denied the comments made at breakfast. He should have just stayed in San Diego where he needed to be right now.
I slapped my forehead. What am I thinking? What the fuck am I doing to myself? I wanted him with me. Shit, I wanted him living with me. I don't know what to think now. I just know that he looks so peaceful and calm when he's sleeping.
All those nights of sleeping in his bed with him even though I had my own, he still remained with that same calm look. I sighed resting my head against the headrest. We were at another rest stop and for an hour I would sleep. After that hour, I would continue to drive six more until we reached my apartment.
He turned over in the seat, facing completely toward me. He had a satisfied smile on his face. He was probably having a wonderful dream. I rubbed a hand lightly through his hair. He moaned lightly, rubbing his eyes. His eyes fluttered open and landed on me. I rested my hand on his thigh, pleading for his forgiveness.
It didn't make me happy to talk to Jazmin. It just made me want to block her out. No matter how much she said she loved and adored me, my mind was on Ricky. Would Ricky ever say he loved and adored me just for me being myself? Of course we said we loved each other but would it be different if we were in a relationship?
It was so different than what people see when I'm with Jazmin. We have more arguments than a fucking married couple. We argued more about money and time than anything else. Jazmin always had some shit to say when she could just really shut the fuck up. Usually, her make up was sex or sweet nothings but it wasn't enough for me. She could make me so angry and hostile but the sex was good. She cooked and cleaned. I think that is what's supposed to make a man happy.
"I swear you're a bitch." I laughed and watched him lace his fingers with mine. I am a bitch. I wish I wasn't but I'm too lazy to change who I am.
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings Ricky. I didn't mean to. It was just...it was just that I didn't know how to react so I resorted to something negative." He nodded and uncurled his legs, placing them on the floor. I squeezed his hand; I just wanted to be closer to him. "I'm so tired right now." I rubbed at my eyes with my free hand.
"I'll drive and you can go to sleep." I laughed loudly. He had to be kidding me. "What?" His eyebrows showed confusion.
"You think I'm going to let you drive?" He looked at me with disbelief. "Again?" He smiled and stretched, getting out of the car. He got into the backseat and then looked at me crazily. "What?"
"Let's go to sleep slow ass." I laughed and got out of the car, climbing into the backseat. I rested in between his legs, putting the alarm on the car. I looked at him, our faces mere inches apart. I buried my face in his neck, breathing in his sweet scent. Surprisingly he smelled more like a woman than a man and I was completely okay with it. I enjoyed his girly smell.
____
I woke up, yawned and rubbed sleep from my eyes. I shook Ricardo awake. It was about 9 in the morning. It was time to keep moving. "You look like the spawn of Satan," I announced to him and he simply chuckled.
"Get out Lee before I kick you in the balls. Then Jazmin will break up with you and you'll be all mine." He smiled hopefully. Ricky and I stopped at a McDonalds before getting back to our road trip. Ricky looked over at me from the passenger seat.
I could see right through his emotions in his eyes. He was hurt for some reason. I knew the things at home were still haunting him but I didn't want that to ruin his time here. When Ricky and I were together, we were always happy or arguing and making up. We talked about idiotic things and some conversations were serious. I made it my duty to make sure he was happy after our long, drawn-out conversations.
"Can we just have fun and address your depression later? I hate seeing you like this. You're supposed to be happy when I'm around," I trailed off, looking towards the road.
"I am happy Levi." Ricardo flashed me a smile before joining a hand with mine.
"I don't want to see that look on your face again, Ricky..." I sounded a little harsh. I sounded like I didn't care about his feelings but I did. "All I'm saying is...I want you to enjoy yourself while you're with me. I don't want you worrying about what happened there and what you predict will happen when you get back." He sighed. He knew I was right and it was the truth.
"I don't want to go back Levi. I want to stay with you but I'm still considerate of what you have already. You have a job, you still have to go to school and you still have a girlfriend." His eyebrows scrunched up in thought. "I shouldn't have came Lee. It'll all be worse when I get back. Dad has the capability to do anything he pleased to me without me going and telling. I have to keep quiet and you do too...or else."
"Or fucking else what??" I was getting angrier and angrier by the second. How can he say anything like that? I'm his best friend, I hate when bugs get on him. What makes him think I'll just allow a grown ass man to touch him? "You don't think I would try to protect you? Are you fucking retarded or some shit?" He looked away and didn't respond. That was the end of the conversation for him. I didn't care if he wanted to hear me anymore or not, he was going to listen. "Even if I failed to protect you, someone will. Someone I trust will protect you."
"Can you just stop talking about it? You said we'd address my "depression" later. So stop talking about it. You're acting like my damn mother, like you pulled me out of your fucking vagina." He used his two index and middle fingers to quote depression.
"Don't you even use my words against me. I'm trying to help your ungrateful ass so don't give me that "I'm not your mother bullshit."" I realized what I had said a couple of seconds later but I didn't apologize.
"Fuck you," he simply said and turned away.
I swear he was such a little prick.
____

We were finally pulling into the parking lot. I felt like a weight lifted off of my shoulders but not off my chest. I was still nervous about Ricardo's feelings because he had been really quiet since our disagreement. I felt a little dumb but not to the point where I would hate myself for talking to Ricky that way. He just simply needed to understand he wasn't safe and I was going to keep him safe.
I felt horrible about not knowing. All of those phone calls, text messages and facetimes and I didn't notice what was going on in that house. He was always out of the house and that was the first thing. When I asked what was wrong, he would never tell me or would lie and say there was nothing wrong. I knew he would lie and I refused to take real action and get to the bottom of it. Now that I know, I would have to take another route in trying to protect my best friend.
I grabbed his bags out of the trunk and went into the housing facility. I sat them by my door and went back out to help him with all the snacks we had bought and my own travel bags. He was still quiet and avoiding my gaze but I knew it would be different later. He couldn't ignore me for long.
Jazmin was probably inside sleep because it was around 8, 9 o'clock. She went to sleep early because she believed sleep helps keep her skin's flawlessness. I rolled my eyes at the thought as I turned and locked the door. I stood back against it and watched Ricardo look around. He roamed forward, gazing at all the frames with pictures of my family and he stopped at one with Jazmin and I in it. He picked it up to look closer and smiled softly.
I admired his appearance, frowning that I admired it more now than ever. Maybe I've been away from him too long. I couldn't seem to say that to him or find the words to express how I felt. His khaki shorts hugged his lower body in an enticing way. They were a bit tight over his butt but that didn't stop me from looking. He was skinny but thick in all the right places and that was very attractive to me. He wore a light blue tank top and I knew there wasn't anything under there but lean tan skin. I laughed lightly knowing he would get more of a tan this summer.
"Your room is down that hallway on the right," I said, pointing and he looked up at me with bright blue eyes. He nodded and grabbed his bags and I rushed to help him. "Here let me grab that," I said and took two bags from him. He packed like he was moving in and I thought of the idea. Maybe I could make it reality.
"Thank you," he replied quietly.
Shortly after, he was settled in and on his way to take a shower. The bathroom was linked to the bedroom like the master suite was. That was one of the perks of this apartment, addition to the full bath down the hall for anyone to use.
I pressed his body against mine in a tight hug. He instinctually wrapped his arms around my neck and buried his face in my chest. "Damn, you are short as hell." He snorted but cuddled closer into my chest. My heart was beating at a thousand miles per hour. "I still love you."
"And I'll always love you more," he whispered.
I began to believe he was right.