|[ THE FAERI'S KEEPER ]|

Chapter 20: Rumours

I walked a few feet behind Natona, watching the way she moved. It was so graceful, the way she put one foot in front of the other — even that small action was a show of how lithe and beautiful she was. It was like watching a cat, proud and sleek. It sent shivers down my spine — it was too smooth, too perfect; so utterly and completely unhuman.

But I'm not human, either... a small voice whispered next to my ear, not even a bit...  I shook the thought away.

The sun had sunk low and warm, orange light filtered through the branches of the trees. My legs ached from the hours of unbroken walking, made worse by the fact I was shorter, and therefore had to work harder to match Natona's stride. I sought to ask for a break, where I could sit and rest and think about how I could progress from here, but I didn't dare talk. Her shoulders were set square and harsh, as was her jaw, and I knew it would be foolish to pull her from her thoughts.

My own thoughts returned to Cedric. What was he doing right now? Had he reached Trinstone safely? I knew that if Natona was not with me I would've left for Trinstone, would have stolen the first horse I saw and galloped the whole way. But I owed a certain amount of guilt towards her — though not directly responsible for her tribe's death, it was because of me, and my desire to see Cedric, that the Fae had found them.

My heart and soul was a battlefield; a war waged by confusion, anger and desire. I couldn't deny my feelings for Cedric — I had accepted them, despite the irrationality of it — but I couldn't stop the confusion and rage I felt. Only hours ago I had witnessed the destructive nature of the Faeris, of his people.

True, I was half Faeri. I was a Halfling. I wasn't even part human, my other half being Elf, but I was raised a human. It was how I was taught to think, taught to behave. Taught to be. And still my emotions struggled with each other, my fondness making my heart almost swell, whilst my hatred for his people coiled like a viper around it, crushing it to dust. To experience such opposites at once... I felt as if my chest was going to tear in two. I could feel the battle waging inside me, both sides unable to gain the upper hand; left to push and pull, back and forth.

"You are thinking about him, are you not?" Natona said, pulling me back to the present moment. I shook my head slightly and glanced up at her. She was not looking at me, her steely eyes still staring ahead. Her shoulders had not soften, and I wondered if it was yet safe to engage in conversation with her.

"Umm, what? Yes... yes... I..." I admitted, not wanting to even try lying, "I guess I was..." I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling cold.

"It does not do well to dwell on the past." She said softly. I couldn't detect anger in her voice, only a complete and utter lack of emotion. "It only makes the future more painful. You can't embrace your future unless have relinquished the past. It something we all must learn to do."

"You haven't relinquished your past." I dared to point out. Natona glanced my way. Empty, dark eyes swallowed my green ones.

"I have no future to embrace..." she sighed, looking forward again, "My tribe is gone... I am elnixä.I am alone. But you... great things await you, if you just abandon your lost years."

"I don't want to let go of my past..." I said, more to myself than to her. It was what had shaped me — my parents' death had awoken a fury and a desire for revenge; it was what made me the Archer. "It means forgetting..."

"Sometimes forgetting is easier." Natona sighed. A chill entered her voice. "Forgetting the past means forgetting the pain."

"Did... did you and... and Soldin ever get married?" I asked quickly. I expected a sharp reaction from her, where she would whirl around and snap at me, but curiosity had always been a dominant aspect of my character.