Random Sherlock Things

Babysitting Hamish

"Alright Sherlock me and Mary should probably be gone for about 3 hours so you have entertain him , not with new murder cases , please for the love of England don't forget to feed him , and read him a bedtime story , not a history of deduction or anything involving violence or drugs , and just let him sleep. Oh and no Violin. It'll upset him."

"Yes thank you John I am perfectly aware of how to take care if a child , now go and have your romantic meal or whatever you couples do these days." John sighed and left the flat with Mary.
When Sherlock heard the door slam he got up excitedly. "Right then Hamish lets pick up from last time shall we?" He got out his guide to successful deductions and placed it on the table for a four year old Hamish. "Uncle Sherlock I-" "Don't call me uncle." "Ok Sherlock I don't think that I'll be able to understand all of this. I've only just learnt to read big words." "Nonsense we have to start young in order to train our brains for later life. Now chapter 4. How to deduce the cause of death , my favourite chapter." Poor little Hamish tried to keep up with all of the hard words but he just simply couldn't understand them.

"It seems reading is not your forte yet. Nevertheless we shall continue on this endeavour with the deduction game." Hamish's face instantly brightened. He loved the deduction game. Sherlock placed a silly looking hat with two pom Poms hanging from it on the table. "Now Hamish. What can you deduce from this hat?" "Ummmmmm.... Oh! The ends are chewed! "Good and that suggests." "They like to chew hats?" "No it shows that they have a nervous habit." "Oh. Sorry....It looks pretty old." "Excellent. What have you based this assumption on?" What an assumption?" Sherlock sighed. He explained the meaning of the 'big word' with a very sarcastic voice. Luckily Hamish didn't pick up on this and they continued.

"Well I made the assumpshion....asumpton... a....assum-" "Assumption" "Yeah that , because there's patches on it was so it's been repaired in the past a lot." "Very good. We may need to widen your vocabulary though. Next you'll be explaining things with like." Sherlock shuddered at the thought.

"Oh look it's nearly your bedtime. I suppose the annual bedtime story is necessary." As Sherlock tucked little Hamish in he got out the book that John had given him to read. "Little red riding hood was going to visit her poorly grandma to give her some treats. Good grief this is dull , is this really what they're reading you these days?" Hamish nodded. "It's one of my favourite stories." "Well it's completely useless for broadening your mind. Let's see here. Oh I've got one that's just perfect. Ahem. Jack the ripper was a notorious killer who targeted prostitutes." "What's a prostitute?" "Oh well you see a prostitute is someone who sells their-"

And so Sherlock read little Hamish the most traumatizing bedtime story he had ever had. He also learnt how babies were made.
"Sherlock I'm home! Have you burnt anything?" "Shhhhh John. You'll wake Hamish." "You got him to sleep? That's impressive I can barely do that even if he's already half asleep." "Well I do have a way with children." "Of course. So what did you feed him?" "Oh shi-"

Author's Note

Hi! So I was feeling creative today and came up with this. Hope you liked it.