LOVELY - A TØP STORY

THE RIDE

Tyler led Lovely to his car.

"I've only known you as lovely, and I would like to know your name. The name you were born with," Tyler questioned.

"My name is Ruby," she whispered softly.

"Huh?" Tyler asked, not being able to hear her over the sound of the sleet.

"Ruby," she cleared her throat and projected a little louder.

"That's beautiful," Tyler smiled. He unlocked his car and opened the door for Lovely. "Isn't it weird to think that there are other people out there with the same name as you?"

"I guess," she answered, looking up at the moon, which was buried in the clouds. She felt just like the moon: covered and distant from everyone else, and very few get any close.

Lovely sat in the passenger seat and buckled her seatbelt. She looked up at Tyler's dashboard.

"Where's your...um...car radio?" Lovely pointed at the gaping hole in the center of the dashboard.

"Somebody stole my car radio," Tyler reflected. He fought back tears. He looked at the steering wheel and remembered all the times he tried to end everything...just one pull and everything will be over, he'd think. The absence of sound forced him to face his thoughts; the voices of Blurryface. Yes, it was just a radio, but the radio was his escape from his mind, as sometimes to stay alive you got to kill your mind.

Lovely could see the distance in his eyes. "Are you okay, Tyler?"

He cleared his throat and his voice trembled. "I'll stay alive."

"I'll stay alive too," Lovely promised. She knew, however, that she wouldn't be able to. Not forever.

He started the car and began to drive. "The engine's roar. Quite a sound, right?"

"My dad...he owns a taxi cab service...and in my hometown, he'd let me start the cars to make sure they'd work," Lovely opened up. "Engines remind me of him..."

"You are more lovely than the roar of an engine," Tyler poetically explained.

"I am?" Lovely doubted.

"You are." Tyler paused. "Anyways, so your dad owns cabs?"

"No...he's a goner...he's dead," Lovely whispered.

"I'm a goner, too," Tyler admitted. "In a sense we all are."

"I suppose, but...just...I wish I had a dad, y'know? All I have is Frank, who is this alcoholic piece of trash that my mother likes for some reason. I doubt he even respects her," Lovely sighed.

Tyler realized what she was doing. She was venting. She was unloading her life in the judge-free zone of the car. He felt like he could read her mind...like he was seeing the cobwebs and flies unwind.

"Things will be okay," Tyler said. It was hard for him to say this. He couldn't even promise himself that things would be okay. But whenever someone else told him that things would be okay, he would feel better for a second, as if things were actually working out. Even if he couldn't battle his own demons, he could try to help others with theirs.

"Thank you," Lovely smiled, trying not to cry. The weather was awful, and it was hard to see out the windshield. Even though the ride was miserable seeming, it was therapeutic. She wanted to take her time.

"Look at the forest. We can run there, sing a chorus, and scream because we are terrified. It's beautiful what can happen in a forest," Tyler looked out his window.

"I love the forest...the trees...," Lovely stared out the window at the oak green trees. She added, not even realizing, "and you."

Tyler pulled over the car into an abandoned lot. He shifted the gear into park and looked over at Lovely.

"Ruby, I love you too," Tyler smiled. "Have I made you believe you are lovely?" His teenage heart was beating faster than the rolling clouds in the sky.

Lovely smiled and nodded as Tyler awkwardly tried to hold her hand. "I'll be holding on to you, if that's okay with you, my Lovely."

She blushed as she teared up. She felt like things were too happy. She was so broken inside that this happiness felt undeserved.

Tyler began to pull out of the lot and back onto the highway when he stopped the car abruptly.

"What's going on?" Lovely asked as he pulled his hand away.

Tyler couldn't hear her. He couldn't hear the sound of the rains. He no longer heard his happy heart beating out his chest. He couldn't hear the engine roar. All he could do is stare start the muddy, box-shaped appliance laying in the grass.

"At my kitchen sink," Tyler whispered.

"Tyler, what's going on?" Lovely asked.

"Go away," he whispered. "Go away".