"Bad" Boys and Ballet

Chapter 9

The past couple weeks had been a whirlwind. After our date on Saturday, I found out that Colby got in a huge fight with Grayson about me. Colby said he wouldn't be attending ballet lessons anymore, and that he never wanted to speak to Grayson ever again. I didn't really care, since Colby and I had never been super close. Matt came over the next day to hang out with Aiden and asked me how the date went. When I told him it went great, he hesitated for a while, then told me was that was good. I didn't see him for the rest of the day, since he and Aiden usually play video games in the game room with the door closed. My dad would sometimes go sit and play with them. He was better than them at everything, but especially Mario Kart. He always played as Luigi, and beat everyone by a lot. We constantly asked him how he had gotten so good, but he just shrugged his shoulders and told us he was a natural. It's funny, I didn't miss the big stuff about him. I missed playing video games with him, and all the other little things. 

My dad was a contractor. He died in November when something fell out of place in a crawlspace, and it collapsed on top of him. They didn't find him for almost an hour, and by then he was already gone. I remember that afternoon like a nightmare, hearing my mom scream, my sister sobbing, the frantic calls to and from relatives, and worst of all, going to the morgue. The place was cold and dark, and the air was stale. My mom told us that my dad's body was so mangled it would be better just to cremate him. I sat down right there and cried, because I'd never get to see my father's face again.

The last thing I said to my dad I'll never forget. As I was eating my breakfast, he leaned down and kissed my head. 

"I'll see you tonight. Have a good day peanut," he said.

"Be safe, love you," I told him as he walked out the door. 

In the days after the funeral, I didn't leave my bed. I was never fully awake, just dozing on and off for hours. To me, sleep was better than the real world. I lost 5 pounds in a week because I only ate when my mom forced me to. I could tell she was trying to be strong for us, but I knew it hit her harder than anyone. She spent hours in her room looking through old photo albums and sobbing, tears staining every page. Aiden drifted around the house almost aimlessly, as if he had lost any sense of direction he had. He and my dad were really close. They used to take all day fishing trips to the big lake near our house, leaving at dawn and coming home at dusk. I always wondered what they talked about for so long, or if they talked at all. Maybe they were just comfortable in silence, enjoying each other's company. I never knew. Rose was the least close with him, and although she was grieving, she kind of held us together. She usually made dinner, or did laundry when my mom forgot to. 

After about a month, things began to improve. I started to go out sometimes to run errands, and found myself singing along to the songs on the radio. Aiden started to make stupid jokes again. Rose convinced my mom to put the old albums away for a while and consider going back to work. We had missed a lot of school, but the administration had decided to let us come back and make up most of our work. My mom found a new job as a copyright lawyer and threw all she had into it. It wasn't exciting, but it payed more than enough, or at least that's what she said. We didn't see her as much anymore, but we cherished the time we did have together. She went back to cooking dinner, sometimes with Rose's help, and we ate around the dining room table, talking about our day or events coming up. I felt myself falling back into old habits, and the storm began to pass. I could go a whole afternoon without thinking about my dad. I still missed him, we all did, but we began to accept the loss. 

My rock through it all was Matt. When he wasn't spending long hours with my brother, talking about who knows what, he was comforting the rest of us. His parents were divorced, so he lived with his mom. She was very sweet, and always brought us soup and brownies when we couldn't face cooking. She and my mom went on walks through the neighborhood and surrounding area that gradually became longer as time went on. I didn't have many close friends, since my best friend, Nicky, had moved away the past summer. So Matt was there for me, always ready to hand me another box of tissues or wrap me up in a crushing bear hug. He was the only person who could make me feel safe, the way my dad did. He made me feel protected, like nothing bad could happen while he was around. He was my refuge when everything seemed like it was falling apart. 

----------------------------------------

Hey y'all. So it's been a long time. A lot of stuff happened, and I totally forgot about this. I'm so sorry. 

This chapter was kind of sad to write, but I want to dedicate it to anyone who has ever lost someone they loved, especially a family member. 

On another note, I've been trying to get back into writing, so maybe you'll be seeing more chapters go up...we'll see. Thanks for your support!