Finding our way back

Chapter 5

Dylan's POV

She hates me. She fucking hates my guts and it's all my fault. Why did I have to be such an idiot? God dammit, she probably never what's to see my face ever again but I just can't give her up. Not now. She means too much to me. She's my childhood best friend. My first crush. My first kiss. My first love. I need her in my life.

I messed up so bad. I knew I never should have cut her off. I let her go and now I won't ever be able to get her back. I seriously fucked up.

When I saw her walk into the party with one of her friends, my breath hitched. She was so beautiful. I could tell she had changed. She wasn't the same shy girl who let people walk all over her anymore. She was more confident and I admired that about her. I knew that she had become really popular at school her sophomore year and that all the guy were lining up to date her but I never thought that she would actually go out with any of them, especially after they were the ones I used to have to tell to piss off and leave her alone. God dammit, I was so angry when I found out that she had started dating Austin. Of all the guys she could have had, she had to go and choose Austin fucking Morris.

Then when I saw him walk out behind her and they had a full make-out session in the kitchen, it took everything in me not to walk over there and pull him off of her. You have no idea how much I wanted to punch the living shit out of him.

Everything that happened between them just fueled my anger. I know that there was no way that I could ever have anything with Alex after what I did to her but some part of me still hoped that she would remember what we used to have and consider an us.

When I had realized that she wasn't dancing with Austin anymore, I started walking around looking for her in the hopes that she would talk to me. But that wasn't the case. She yelled at me, pretty much telling me that she wanted nothing to do with and to stay out of her life. It broke me in half.

I felt so bad. I really hurt her and I wasn't there to explain myself. When I had stopped talking to her I had truly thought it was best for her. She kept herself rooted to me and she wouldn't do anything unless I was there with her. I didn't' want her to be so dependent on me and I thought that if I stepped out of her life for a while, she could become more independent. I worked at the expense of our friendship. Looking back on it, it was the stupidest decision that I ever made. I hate myself for what I did but I know that I can't change anything that happened.

I realize that I had zoned out what one of my friends Jason comes up behind me and pats me on the back, laughing.

"What are you on about?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just funny to see how crazy you are about this girl," he says with a chuckle. He walks away before I can say anything.

I catch sight of Alex across that room. When her eyes meet mine, my breathe catches. She is so god damn beautiful. I could look at her all day. My gaze travels down and lands on Austin' arm around Alex. My Alex.

Suddenly anger takes over me. I clench my hand into fists and resist that urge to punch him square in the jaw. That should be my arm around Alex. I should be the one that she is hugging right now. I lift my gaze back up to meet hers and my eyes immediately soften. I can never stay mad at her.

The next thing I know she's flipping me off and walking out of the house still wrapped up in Austin's arms. She is so pissed at me right now.

I sigh, knowing that she won't be forgiving me anytime soon. I walk into the kitchen to grab a beer so that I can get my mind off of everything. I find one, pop it open, and take a swig. I walk out to the living room where everyone is dancing. Just as I spot Jason and am about to walk over to him, some girl wraps her arms around my neck and pulls my down so that my lips meet hers.