Green Eyes | Larry Stylinson ❀

The Struggle

  Harry's been transferred into the rehabilitation unit of the hospital and spends his days there getting intense physiotherapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. It's been a long couple weeks of recovery, but things have been looking great. His progress is immaculate since waking up. He's able to move around a lot better, although weakness is still present. The big thing is that he's able to sit and stand up and maintain a standing posture. He still struggles with balance every so often, but it's not as severe as they were expecting. If there is anything that jolts him from his position, it's safe to say he'll fall over. But he's solid when he's static or holding on to something stable.

The speech has gotten better. That was a big thing that really frustrated him. He's able to speak in full sentences now, slow and still enunciating every word. But it's much better than before. He can eat and properly swallow. His memory and cognition has been great, no impairments with any of that. There are times when it takes him a bit of time to think about something and process certain things, but other than that, he's getting better. That's the important bit. His emotions still over take him at times. Especially when he's frustrated at not being able to do things like he used to, but the inappropriate crying, laughing, and outburst have reduced. It's not as frequent, but it's still there. His shoulder is getting better as well as the sprained ankle and wrist, able to utilize them a bit more now that they've healed.

There's some aspect about everything that Louis is still hesitant and worried on. The outburst is one thing. It seems like any time he's there to support Harry through his rehab, his emotions overtake him, and he gets so angry. Angry he can't be strong. Angry he can't walk properly. Angry that he's not the person Louis fell in love with, and it's saddening. Because Louis loves him so much. Would love him even if he could never function properly again, and he has to reassure him all the time. The emotional bit is overwhelming for him because he's not sure what to do or how to handle it. The best advice he gets is constant reassurance. Just continuously reassure Harry that he's there and he's doing good. It helps sometimes.

And then there are those moments where Harry zones out. The therapists nor the doctors seem concerned with the cognitive aspect of his brain, but those times when he stares blankly at the wall has Louis worried. Harry's never been one to just zone out like that and need some sort of stimulus to return to them. But now, he does it every so often. Usually when people are talking around him and he's not actively doing something. He just stares, claims that he's thinking about something.

The one thing Louis cannot stand though is the pain. The amount of pain Harry endures every single day absolutely guts him. The pounding headache he complains of constantly, which is apparently common after having brain surgery and raised cranial pressure. They try to mend it, but it gets so bad that he does cry. Does get angry and emotional because it messes up his groove of recovery. There was one day it was so severe that he couldn't even leave the room to get therapy done, and the nurses spent hours trying to calm it down. Those moments are the toughest to watch.

There's also the times when Harry becomes breathless. Progressively so. He started off on a small does of supplemental oxygen with exercises, but they have been weaning him off. The shortness of breath is mainly due to his poor endurance from being immobilized in the hospital. His vitals are still stable, so they cannot assume it's related to poor lung functioning. He's just so weak and now out of shape that it's taking a toll on him. After therapy, he immediately falls asleep. Often has to be woken up as to not miss dinner because he needs the nutrition. Needs to gain back the muscle and fat he lost from the coma.

Sometimes, he gets dizzy and lightheaded. Usually from changing positions or randomly when he standing. His blood pressure drops a lot, in response to the medication he's taking to keep everything within a normal range. Harry can only be mobile on his feet for so long before it takes over and he needs to stop. His head spins a lot, and it brings on those intense migraines. Then it brings on more tears and emotions, and it's a vicious cycle he gets stuck in whenever he's doing anything that involves movement. Those are the toughest moments for Louis to watch, where he thinks the worse and doesn't see all the progress that he's gone through since rehab started.