love isn't always fair (bvb fanfic)

What is this fear

BANG! I shot up wide awake at a sudden noise. I looked around I was alone In a room I didn't recognize, I could hear voices coming from the hallway.

"I can't believe what happened to her" I heard Jinxx say. "It's happened to many times," Mari said I could barely make out what she said she was talking so quietly.

"It's awful someone as amazing as her should never have to through that," Ashley said he sounded pissed off. "No one should have to go through that" Jake said making a good point.

"Do you think she's really ok?" Jinxx asked. "No, she's not going to be ok for a while," Mari said in a sad tone. I hated how well she knows me.

I sat up and walked towards their voices. I walked into a living room space, Andy was in the kitchen cooking something that smelled amazing. Jake was sitting on a chair next to the couch Mari was sitting on his lap. Ashley and Jinxx were sitting on the couch cc was in the other chair next to the couch.

"Hey your up!" Jake said smiling at me as I walked into the room. "Yeah,what time is it?" I asked scratching my head. "It's 8" cc answered my question promptly "we are about to eat dinner Andy made it."

I looked over at the kitchen were Andy was and accidentally locked eyes with him. Chills went down my spine my whole body went cold all I wanted to do was run away but I froze. I looked away from him and looked at everyone else who was all staring at me. "what?" I said confused. "Addy, are you ok?" Ashley asked. "yes I'm actually really good right now I fell good." I was lying through my teeth and hoping no one would notice.

"ok, you want to come sit down with us?" Ashley asked moving over creating a spot for me next to him, but as I looked at the spot I realized how close I would have to be to him, he was most definitely going  to try to kiss me or something. I can't handle that I need to get away. "umm I think I'm going to go for a quick walk to get some air I will be right back." 

"I will go with you," Ashley said standing up. "no I'm ok really you don't have to come. "Well, I want to go with you"Please don't take this the wrong way but I don't want you to go with me." Ashely looked hurt then Mari said, "can I come with you?" I looked at her annoyed then said "no id really like to go alone please." everyone in the room exchanged glances. 

"I really don't think you should go alone," Ashley said walking closer to me. I backed up "Fine Cc will you come with me please?" Cc looked confused then stood up and walked to me. I turned and headed to the door. I was about to grab the knob when out of nowhere Ashley grabbed my wrist. 

I let out a loud scared gasp. I pulled my hand away from Ashley then backed up. "I just go back to the room it's fine." all my motivation to leave was screaming at me now but I backed down out of fear of what Ashley was going to do.  

I started walking backwards slowly. "No, wait I didn't mean to scare you, you and go I'm not going to keep you here." I heard what he said every word rang in my ears and I knew he was probably telling the truth but something inside of me was terrified of what would happen if I left all of a sudden. it was like I was living with my dad all over again. 

"I'm just going to go back to the room", I said turning around walking away as fast as I could. I walked to the room I woke up in and closed the door. I slid down the door and sat on the ground pulling my knees to my chest. I just sat there thinking. he going to hurt you, he's going to be just like dad, they don't care about me, I'm nothing to them, they couldn't careless if I was alive or dead. 

My mind was racing I didn't know what to do."Addy" someone said from the other side of the door trying to open it. "yeah?" I said back. "can you let me in please?" I sat there for a moment thinking, I wasn't sure who was on the other side of the door. I took in a deep breath. "ok" 

I stood up and put my hand on the handle, please don't be Ashley please don't be Ashley please don't be Ashley, I turned the handle and opened the door. Ashley was standing right in front of me. I'm so happy he's taller than me or else I would have been staring right into his eyes. 

"I didn't mean to scare you I'm really sorry you know  I'd never hurt you right?" I wanted to believe him so badly I knew I should believe him but I just couldn't. I stood there for a second I really didn't know what to say. 

"Addy," Ashley put his hands on my shoulders, I pulled away almost as soon as he put them on me. "please don't" I looked in his eyes, they were filled with pain and I was the cause of it. "CAN I please go for a walk?" I said looking at the ground.

"Of course, you can I never meant for you to think you couldn't." Ashley was staring at me trying to get me to respond to him with something other than fear but I just couldn't and it didn't even make sense to me why. 

"Is it ok if Cc goes with you still?" he asked smiling at me. I looked down and shook my head. My right arm was grabbing onto my left I was so nervous I felt like I was going to vomit. I walked past Ashley as fast as I could, and walked into the living room, "Cc gets up let's go" I said quickly as I opened the front door and walked outside before he even had time to stand up. 

Cc meet me outside and closed the front door behind him. I started walking down the driveway, I didn't know where I was going or what was close by but I knew I had to get out of there. and I knew cc wasn't going to bother me too much. 

"So where are we going?" he asked in a cheerful tone walking close behind me. "I don't know anywhere but here," I said quietly but  loud enough for him to hear. "is there a park nearby?" I asked calmly. "yeah there is follow me. I slowed down so he could walk in front of me and he lead the way to a park that was about a 10-minute walk from where we were. 

The park was huge, it was easily the biggest park I had ever seen. We sat down in the grass under a tree. "so are you going to talk to me about why you look so terrified around Andy and Ashley?" Cc asked after awhile. 

"I don't know why", I said looking down. "Come on I don't believe you, you know you can talk to me." Cc was the sweetest guy I knew I wasnt scared of him at all, in fact, I dont think I ever was. "I honestly don't know why and that scares me just as much as they do." I didn't look up from the ground the entire time I was talking. CC and I sat there for a while in silence I don't think he knew what to say. "Addy you know Ashley would never hurt you, right? and same goes for Andy he may have cheated on you but he would never hit you, or anything like that." 

I sat there for a second and thought before I responded. "I know they wouldn't but that doesn't stop me from being scared they are going to." CC shook his head then moved closer to me and hugged me "It's going to be ok Addy youll get over this." 

"I wish I could belive you," I said into his chest as he hugged me. we sat like that for awhile without saying anything to each other. my phone went off but i ignored it. Then Cc's phone went off, he answered his. "what do you need Ash?" he said in a somewhat annoyed tone of voice. "Are you ok is she ok where are you guys at? do you need me to come pick you guys up?" i could hear ashley through the phone. 

Cc looked down at me "you can say yes if you want." he shook his head ok then said "yeah you guys can come pick us up we are at the park right by the house" they hung up and cc wrapped his arms around me agin. 

Ashley and Andy drove up to where we were. Cc and I got in the back i sat right next to him and put my head on his shoulder i didnt look forward only out the window i ddint want to talk to eaither of them. 

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Sorry for not updating i will start updating this fan fic and my falling in reverse one regularly.