love isn't always fair (bvb fanfic)

Getting there

We have been here for a week now, I have been sleeping by myself every night. I still can't even bring myself to hug Ashley or anyone for that matter. Except CC he's been here for me the entire time, anytime day or night he's listened to me complain he is honestly my best friend right now, the only person I can even stand touching me.

Everyone was out of the house but me and Ashley, it's the first time we have been alone together since the tour ended and we are on opposite levels of the house, I'm in my room and he's in the basement practicing.

I stood up and walked around upstairs trying to work up enough courage to go down the stairs. I paced back and forth for a good 20 minutes before I had enough courage to walk down the stairs. With each step I could feel my heart racing, I could feel my veins bulging every nerve in my body was screaming.

when Ashley saw me on the stairs he stopped playing, "hey are you ok do you need something?" his voice was so kind, it subsided my fear somewhat. "no I um came down here to hang out with you" the biggest smile I had ever seen from him spread across his face. "really?" he asked moving closer to me, I didn't back away I kept my feet planted firmly where I was.

"Yeah I mean after all you are my boyfriend right?" He moved closer to me then pulled me into a hug. "I love you" he whispered in my ear. I hugged him back, we stood there hugging his arms were wrapped around me, I wouldn't say I felt safe but I wasn't scared and that was a start at least.

I pulled away from him then looked in his eyes, I kissed him, he kissed me back pulling me as close to him as I could, he was so gentle so caring for a moment all my fear was washed away. "So does this mean your feeling better?" he asked smiling.

I shook my head yes. "that's good we have to do something to celebrate." he said smirking at me I giggled a bit then he bent down and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him and held on to him as tightly as I could. he was still holding me, as he walked up the stairs kissing me. "wow looks like you two made up" Mari's voice pulled my attention from Ashley.

Ash set me down as fast as he could. "Yes, we did now leave us alone about it,lets,gonna, " Ashley said hugging me from behind. As he pushed himself aginst me I could feel his bulge on my lower back. "let's go to the bedroom" he whispered in my ear.

"Not gonna happen", I said quietly back at him. I could kiss him and be held by him but I was nowhere near ready to have sex with him again. "ugh ok" he said pouting, he pulled away from me and went back down the stairs. I looked around everyone was sitting around chilling.

I walked to the front door and went outside. I sat down on the front porch looking out. Not long after I had sat down the door opened and Andy walked out. "Oh Addy I didn't know you were out here, ill go back inside." he was about to go back in when I said, "No it is ok to come sit out here with me."

Andy sat on the swing next to me and lit his cigarette. "so you and Ashley are back together?" I looked at him confused "we never broke up" "yeah I know but you haven't been a couple since we got here." I sighed. "I'm just in a really really weird place right now" I was looking at the ground "I know" he said swinging us.

"Andy, can I ask you something?" "Yeah, anything" "Do you still like me? or have you gotten over me? where you already over me when you cheated?" he sighed and swung us a for a bit befoe responding.

"Addy I don't just like you, I love you that is not something that just goes away, and yeah I know cheating on you was horrible and I have never regretted anything more, now I have to watch you fall in love with one of my best friends. All I want to do is be able to hold you and make you feel safe but I lost that right and I don't think I'll every be able to make you see how badly I want you. "

I sat there for a second thinking, could he really be telling the truth or was he just lying to get me to like him again? could I trust him? or is he just waiting to hurt me again? "do you really mean that Andy?" I asked looking at him. he turned to me "I have never been surer about anything in my life I love you and I would do anything to make you happy even if that means watching you be with Ashley."

We sat there in silence together for awhile. Why did hearing him say that make me so happy? "Hey guys!" CC yelled from inside. "yeah?" we both asked. cc walked out towards us "we all want to go out to get something to eat do you want to come with?" I shook my head "no my stomach hurts I'm just going to stay here for today."

"I'm just too tired to go but you all can have fun" andy said smiling at CC "ok suit yourselves." he said shrugging and walking back inside " they don't want to go" he yelled at everyone else who was in the house.

"ok, i heard Mari's voice say, not soon after everyone but Andy and I were in the car on the way to whatever restaurant they choose. "I'm going to go inside," I said standing up walking inside. i sat on the couch and turned on the tv.

"Hey do you want me to make you something to eat?" Andy asked as he walked to the refigurater. "No im ok for now but thanks" My stomach was twisting in knots, i had been sick all week i could hardly keep down any food, i have been so tired and my whole body has been hurting i thikn im really sick.

Andy grabbed some food then set it on the table next to me. "Im going to grab the bong want to smoke a bowl with me?" I shook my head "yeah maybe it will help settle my stomach. Andy sat next to me and packed a bowl.

he hit it then handed it to me. we passed it around a couple times before he said: "you don't think your pregnant right?" I laughed a little, "why would you ask that?" he sighed "it's just you have been getting sick a lot, your really moody and tired all the time, its the way my cousin was when she was pregnant."

"no there's no way trust me it's not that it's just a stomach bug" "alright" he said questioningly. I sat there thinking there was no way, right?