Dugout Girl

Chapter Thirteen

I walked back to my apartment. I opened the door and Josh was there with David. I could hardly look at him. The dream made it all seem too real.

I went and took a hot shower. I let myself cry. I cried so hard I don't think I needed the shower tap on.

I ended up sitting down in my tub as the water cascaded over my face, blurring my vision.

I sat like this until I heard a knock. I didn't answer. I didn't care. I didn't care that the doctors might be able to help my shoulder. There was no helping me now. I was a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode. And I'm about to explode. I don't want my friends and family to get hurt. I have to end all of this.

I have to walk away from baseball. For good.

The door opened and Ryan walked in and pulled the curtain back. My skin was red from the hot water. I didn't care. My makeup was running everywhere. I didn't care.

Ryan shut the water off but I tuned out what he was saying. He picked me up and grabbed a towel before taking me to my room.

He layer me on my bed and covered me with my blankets.

The desparation in his voice made me snap out of my stupor.

"Lucy. Baby, come on you gotta talk to me," he said, a tear sliding down his cheek.

"I'm sorry," I croaked.

"I know baby, but why?"

"I'm a bomb. I'm bound to explode. And when I do, I don't want anyone to get hurt. And I can't hurt you Ryan. I can't hurt you," I said starting to cry again.

"Baby, you can't hurt me. I'm the defuser to your bomb. Let me defuse your bomb. Baby, don't do this. We're getting you help for your shoulder. It's not the end Lucy. It's not the end of the line. Please baby. Please, I need you. You are the best thing that has happened to me. I'm not letting you go because you're telling me that you're a bomb. If you explode, I'd be happy to take on that hurt. If that means keeping you, I don't care," he said tears streaming freely from his eyes.

"Ryan. They told me that my shoulder might be permanently damaged. They can fix what the first doctor fucked up, but there's a slim chance that there isn't permanent damage. I love you so-"

"What the hell?" David and Josh said interrupting me.

"Talk to them," Ryan said standing up wiping his tears and leaving the room.

"Spill," they said infuriated.

"There's nothing to say," I said.

"Then why the fuck is there red splotches all over your arms and face and neck?" Josh demanded.

"Because hot water is hot," I told him.

"Come on Lucy, what happened?" David asked calmer.

"Just a bad day," I lied.

"A bad day eh? Why did you burn yourself?" He whispered.

"I didn't mean to. I was sitting in the shower then my body shut down. I just stayed there, and Ryan found me, shut the water off and brought me here."

"Lucy, you were in there for an hour and a half," Josh said.

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Oh," Josh said mocking me. "That's all you have to say? What's going on Lucy? Is it your shoulder?"

"Yeah. The doctors said they could try to fix it but there's probably permanent damage."

"Hey there's a chance," David said. "Don't dwell on it, there's still a chance. Come on Luce you'll be fine. You're strong."