YouTube / Camren

s i x

Camila's POV

As I sit down on the couch in front of my camera, my hands begin to shake. If I do this, I can travel the world with Shawn. If I do this, I'll crush so many innocent kids' hearts, and my dream.

I've just been so fucking unhappy lately. I can't keep up with videos, and when I do they're all shitty. I turn the camera on and start.

"Hello. Some of you may be wondering why I've been inactive for 5 days. I apologize greatly I-ve just been-" I pause and take a deep breath. My voice gets shakier every word I speak. "I-I've been meaning to make this video for quite some time, now."

"As most of you know, I've been dating Shawn Mendes for quite some time now. He means a lot to me, and I love him so much. Although, I c-can't see him a lot." I pause. Here come the tears. "I've decided to leave the Clique to travel with Shawn."

I pause; trying to smile through the tears..

"I'm going to be attending this tour, and leaving after the after party on the last show."

"I know many of you will be hurt or mad, but believe me, I'm so tired of being alone." The tears were no flooding from my eyes. "I'm so sorry..I'm s-so sorry.." I scooted a little close into the camera. The sudden thought of leaving the Clique scared me. I hated myself for it, but I had to.

No turning back now.

"Please don't be sad, please don't. With Shawn's new album, he's gone more than ever. I miss him. I hate being alone." I smile a little, "He even said if I come he'll let me sing backup on tour."

"This is a huge opportunity for me, and I know it hurts a lot of you. It hurts me too, but this is what I want, and I hope you can all understand and appreciate my decision. I'll miss you all. This is the end of this channel. Thank you for all the laughs and all the memories. I hope to see many of you on Shawn's upcoming tour. I understand if I get hate, but I- now I'm just rambling.. I'm gonna go, I apologize deeply. I love you all, goodbye." I lean forward and stop recording. Without editing, I render it and upload it.

-

After a small nap, I feel somewhat better. I've been losing countless hours of sleep due to getting lost in my thoughts. I open my phone to several notifications, but the first I bother to open is three texts from Shawn.

"Baby, you finally did it!!"

"I'm so happy for us, stay strong. You made the right decision :**"

"I love you~;;!"

I smile a little and reply with, "I love you too, muffin."

Next I open Twitter. I should probably reply to a few tweets to clear up any confusion. The first tweet I reply to is from insanedjh, 'camila, i wish you the best, but can you just promise to keep us updated on what's going on?'

"@/insanedjh I promise I'll keep updating you guys. On Twitter, and Instagram. I love you!! xx."

from powerpuffshawn, 'i think you made the right decision, if this is what makes you happy go with it.'

"@/powerpuffshawn thank you! this is what i want, and i hope that you guys are okay with my decision. ily babe <333."

The last tweet I decide to reply to is from @LaurenJauregui1, 'camz, i hope you're happy :(, i'll miss your videos but at least i get to see you once on this tour.. i love you to the sun and back.'

"@LaurenJauregui1 i am happy, and i look forward to meeting you, baby! i love you to the moon and back."

After replying to those tweets, I feel happier to know that many of my fans are okay with my decision. I decide to check Instagram and Youtube some other time. That's where most of my hate is, and I can't handle that right now.

Once when Dinah had announced something she knew she'd get hate for, she decided to go on Omegle and talk with some fans. It lightened the situation and made all her fans happier.

I decide that's what I'm going to do, so I walk into the living room and grab my laptop, first I tweet out, "Confused or just want to talk? Come chat on Omegle in about an hour with the tag camzcabello, hope to see you :D!"

I put on some music and the first song that comes on is 'Honest' by Shawn. I love this song, it always puts me into a happier mood.

I walk into the kitchen, and put my ipod down so I can make some coffee. "You deserve more, than I can promise.." I sing along to the song.

While the coffee is brewing, I make a fruit salad. Bananas, strawberries, kiwi, and blueberries. Shawn had taken me grocery shopping before he left. He always buys fruit, but never eats any; so I always get to make fruit salads when he's gone.

The coffee machine beeps, and I pour some into my mug. My favorite mug, it's got The Clique's logo on it. It was merch we had released about a year ago. We released sweatshirts, tank tops, hats, and mugs. 

If you paid 30 extra dollars you got it signed by all of us. It was a lot of fun actually. I wish we'd had time to do one more merch, but we don't we'd have to do it before the tour started, but the tour starts too soon. In about a week, actually. If The Clique ever does anymore merch, I won't be apart of it. 

After finishing my fruit salad and my coffee, it's time to get on Omegle. I open my computer and enter "omegle." I click the first website that pops up, and for my interests I put "camzcabello"

It takes a few seconds to log me in with another stranger. At first their camera and microphone are very laggy and glitching out. However; when it finally is brought into understanding, it's a girl yelling "CAMILA CAMZ CAMZ!!" A beautiful girl with dark brown hair and bright green eyes.