My skin is tight around my anxiety-ridden bones,
my jacket is suffocating me; it is 102° fahrenheit but I am
not allowed to take it off.
I am not allowed to take my skin off.
It isn't my skin anyway, this isn't the state of my bones.
This is the state of the bones forced into a cookie cutter cut out
cut out
phrasal verb of
(of a motor or engine) suddenly stop operating.
synonyms: stop working, , , give out, break down
This is going to stop working,
just when I'd gotten my bones to calm, they were forced into a
mold of discomfort and
itching.
A cast.
cast
noun
an object made by shaping molten metal or similar material in a mold.
an act of throwing something forcefully.
I had just gotten my bones to settle in my skin.
I was comfortable and accepting
and compassionate to my own
being.
Don't restrict your diet but restrict how you love or how you look,
wear long sleeves to hide shame.
I am not ashamed.
Don't let your lips speak of the person you love because
that kind of love is poison.
That kind of love is my elixir and I
am not ashamed.
I am something to be ashamed of, put into
the oven and burnt to a crisp.
I will be burnt sugar, a creme brulee.
Burnt
a simple past tense and past participle of
2. of or showing earth pigments that have been calcined and
changed to a deeper and warmer color
A swathe of shame and fragments
of a broken soul, a broken
home is where the heart is,
it is concrete.
Strong and apparent,
unashamed.
What I would like to be one day.